Though the term hints at a lack of depth, there’s no shortage of deep, lasting pleasure to be found with shallowing. And while the penetration technique implies something entering the vagina (if ever so slightly), that something could be anything you might otherwise use for sexual penetration—not just the tip of the penis of a sex partner, but also, a finger, tongue, or toy, says sex educator Cindy Luquin, MA, CSE, founder of sexual-health education platform Pleasure to People.

Because shallowing with a toy would require keeping the toy positioned just inside the vagina, that might be difficult with a typical wand—which is why Playboy Pleasure recently released a toy with a shorter tip designed to make shallowing while solo that much easier: the Ring My Bell vibrator ($80). Below, you’ll find expert intel on all things shallowing, plus advice for trying it out yourself, including my first-hand review of the Ring My Bell. (Spoiler alert: It rang all of mine.)

What, exactly, is shallowing when it comes to penetration?

“Shallowing is penetrative touch right at the entrance of the vagina,” says Luquin. “It’s not external, but it’s not going deep inside, either,” she clarifies.

The benefit of keeping penetration just inside the vagina has to do with the anatomy of the vaginal entrance—which allows for some out-of-this-world sensations.

“Shallowing is when you play with the nerve endings [at the vaginal entrance] to find the depth at which you most enjoy the penetration.” —Marla Renee Stewart, sexologist

“The entrance to the vagina is one of the most sensitive spots on the body,” says sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, sexpert for sexual-wellness brand and retailer Lovers. “Shallowing is when you play with those nerve endings [at the vaginal entrance] to find the depth at which you most enjoy the penetration,” she adds. “This can aid in helping you feel pleasure and get acclimated with your genitals.”

Who would benefit from the penetration technique of shallowing?

According to sexuality and relationship therapist Chanta Blue, LCSW, there are two major groups of people who might enjoy experimenting with shallowing: “vulva owners and those who enjoy pleasing [people who have] vulvas,” she says.

And, per Luquin, if you fall in the former group, you can seriously increase your pleasure by shallowing. “A 2021 study [with almost 3,000 participants] found that women who used shallowing during foreplay found deeper penetrative sex more stimulating and had 25-percent stronger orgasms,” Luquin says.

What to know about shallowing before trying it

“Folks should know that shallowing is staying pretty shallow in the vagina,” says Stewart, adding that you don’t want to go more than one inch inside the vagina to get the maximum return from this penetration technique.

When initially trying shallowing, Stewart says it’s important to give yourself the license to explore for as long as you might need or want. “I don’t recommend rushing while you are shallowing, as the technique [when done slowly] can be a great way to get more in touch with your nerve endings and how they pertain to your pleasure in your body,” she says.

Blue echoes that sentiment, noting that this is a great technique to build arousal. (Read: It’s not a quick hitter; it’s a slow burn.) “The anticipation that comes along with this method can increase excitement for both the vulva owner and the partner if used during partnered play,” says Blue. “It’s also great to use when deeper penetration isn’t pleasurable, comfortable, or possible.”

How to try shallowing, according to sexologists

As is the case with most sex acts and techniques—like, for instance, BDSM or anal fingering or temperature play—when it comes to starting a shallowing practice, it’s a good idea to move slowly, at least initially. After all, you can always do more, but you can’t take back what you’ve already done.

Another key tip: Make sure the vaginal area is wet enough (before you begin) to make shallowing pleasurable. “Whenever penetrating the genitals, it’s important to first ensure there is enough lubrication to reduce friction and avoid irritation,” says Blue. “Then, you can place the toy, finger, lips, penis tip, or tongue just at the opening of the vagina, taking care not to penetrate deeper into the canal.”

For the record, Stewart suggests a hands-on approach. “I would recommend starting off with some vulva and vaginal exploration with your hands,” she says. “Start in small circles with the pads of your fingers, and use those pads to explore the [entrance], experimenting with the angles, pressure, and depth of what you like.” Reserving all your stimulation to the entrance of the vagina can then build up arousal and pleasure over time.

My experience with the Playboy Pleasure Ring My Bell vibrator designed for shallowing

As a sensory person, I like things that look, sound, smell, taste, and feel nice. Ring My Bell is a lot of those things. From the packaging to the toy itself and its various pleasure settings, it checks a lot of my boxes. The medical-grade silicone is almost slippery (in a good way), and the toy has a built-in feature to focus on the clitoris. Let’s just say I really enjoyed that. Plus, at just four inches long and one inch wide, it makes a great travel buddy.

Playboy Pleasure Ring My Bell — $80.00

To date, I own and have tried more than 30 sex toys. This one, however, is the first one that was specifically designed with shallowing in mind. For me, Ring My Bell provides just the right amount of penetration.

Insertable length: 1 inch

Material: Body-safe silicone

Settings: 10 speeds and functions, 10 pulsing rhythms, two buttons

Power source: Rechargeable

Available colors: Black

Waterproof: Yes

Pros:

• Chic, iridescent packaging
• Ergonomic and stylish design
• Just the right amount of penetration

Cons:

• Magnetic charging can be tricky to keep connected
• Not compatible with oil-based lubes

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While I’ve enjoyed vibrators of all shapes, sizes, and power types, as a kid (lady???) born in the ‘90s, my power source of choice will always be a plug-in adapter; there’s just something reassuring about it. Ring My Bell, however, uses newer technology: a magnetic rechargeable USB.

Plenty of modern sex toys charge this way, but I often find it hard to balance the toy well enough to ensure a charge. However, the magnet on the Ring My Bell is pretty strong, so even that isn’t really an issue. Which is all to say, if you’re looking to deep-dive into shallowing, this is totally the toy for you.

“This time, my soul left me, and god himself said, ‘Child, it is not your time,'” writes a reviewer of her orgasm. “Mind you, I’m agnostic.”

Tracy's Dog, OG Clitoral Suction Vibrator — $50.00

Originally $60, now $50 

This “soul-snatching” toy is currently 17 percent off ahead of Amazon Prime Day.

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Another woman who claims to have died, been resurrected, and then died again was hit so hard by her orgasm she practically saw stars. “Trust me,” she writes. “Best believe you will never see me frown ever again. My life has completely changed. Have a blessed day.”

“It literally felt like a demon was coming out of me,” writes yet another satisfied owner of a Tracy’s Dog vibrator. “My orgasm was AT LEAST 30 seconds longer than usual and my skin is clear, my eyesight is cured and my anxiety has dissipated.” (The orgasm glow is real, by the way.)

So, it’s damn good is my read. Also, back it up—clitoral sucking vibrator?

Okay, I’m like, super vanilla when it comes to sex toys. I get a buzzy little bullet in an industry party gift bag every three years, and that’s, like, enough. So the bells and whistles on this hands-free vibe sound intense. Women across the board report that getting intimate with the toy can result in the elusive squirting orgasm, and even more of them say that that’s “NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE” (bolded, italicized, underlined twice).

And caution is definitely advised when you learn your way around the bend. Start slow or you it sounds like you’re in for some Exorcist-style levitation above your bed. Radical.

Intrigued and intimidated by all the raves, consider this another small win for Ladies Doing It For Themselves. As we fight the good fight for female pleasure, it’s important to share with passion, vigor, and 0 percent shame what can bring us closer to the little death. As far as I can tell, the Tracy’s Dog Vibrator slays. And in case you fear emptying your wallet, hearsay is it’s worthy of the price tag (although it it’s on sale now for 17 percent off.)

“It’s worth hundreds,” writes an infatuated reviewer. “Heck, it’s worth a second mortgage on my house. And for the love of banana pancakes, ladies heed the warnings of the brave pioneers who came before you… stretch like your life depends on it before embarking on this mission. Icy Hot and Motrin for those that don’t listen.”

If, for whatever reason, the OG soul-snatcher isn’t powerful enough for you, there’s also the Tracy’s Dog OG Pro 2 (originally $70, now $60) that’s 10 percent off ahead of Prime Day. The difference? There’s stronger suction and a remote control, so you can literally give your life over to the higher powers—whoever they may be. Godspeed.

Tracy's Dog, OG Pro 2 — $60.00

Originally $70, now $60 

Save 10 percent ahead of Prime Day.

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Broadly speaking, an anal suppository is a medicinal bullet-sized solid designed to melt into a liquid once you insert it into the anal canal, where it’s warmed by the body. While you might be familiar with laxative suppositories for chronic constipation or moisturizing ones for treating anal fissures, anal sex suppositories like the Booty Melts are made with ingredients that support comfort during penetrative anal play—which should never be painful (more on that below). And the insertion process allows those ingredients to reach deeper internal tissues than you could access with a lube or arousal oil alone.

Foria Booty Melts — $34.00

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As the author of many articles about anal and a proud advocate of pleasurable anal sex, I just had to get my hands (er, hiney) on Foria’s Booty Melts as soon as I heard about them. And now that I have, I think everybody with a body (read: butthole) who engages in any form of anal should bestow their bum with the joys of an anal sex suppository.

Below, learn more about the purpose of anal sex suppositories like Foria’s new Booty Melts and my experience trying out the melts myself.

What to know about Foria Booty Melts for anal sex

Foria’s Booty Melts are cocoa-butter-based anal sex suppositories that are infused with just two additional ingredients: hemp and jojoba oil. Cocoa butter has a low melting point, which means it will melt inside your anal canal quickly, enabling it to deliver the benefits of both active ingredients just as fast.

The hemp is the primary medicinal component, as it contains 150 mg of cannabidiol (CBD) and cannabigerol (CBG), which are both non-psychoactive hemp compounds. “The CBD and CBG are there to help relax the anal sphincter muscles and promote ease of entry—which are two of the main ingredients of pleasurable sex,” says somatic sex educator Kiana Reeves, chief content officer at Foria.

“The CBD and CBG are there to help relax the anal sphincter muscles and promote ease of entry—which are two of the main ingredients of pleasurable sex.” —Kiana Reeves, chief content officer, Foria

Indeed, CBD is a common ingredient in both anal and vaginal suppositories designed to reduce pain or increase pleasure during penetrative sex because it’s a vasodilator, analgesic, and anti-inflammatory agent. As pelvic floor physical therapist Heather Jeffcoat, DPT, previously told Well+Good, this means that when CBD is introduced to the body’s most absorbent tissues by way of a suppository, it can promote blood flow, ease pain, and reduce inflammation.

Additionally, the organic jojoba oil in the Booty Melts helps “hydrate and soften the skin in and around the anus, which allows for easier, more pleasurable insertion,” says Reeves. Plus, it reduces the risk of micro-tears during anal sex, she adds. Just as the skin on your hands is less likely to crack and bleed when it’s hydrated, so is the lining of the anal canal.

How to have pain-free anal sex with an anal suppository

While anal suppositories like Foria’s Booty Melts are made to soften the anal sphincter muscles and hydrate the surrounding skin for more comfortable penetration, they’re not meant to serve as a replacement for the two core practices of good anal sex, namely: Keep it slick, and move slowly.

As for the first? Unlike the vaginal canal, which can self-lubricate, the anal canal cannot, says Reeves. In order to achieve the slide-and-glide that makes anal penetration pleasurable, you need to add in a store-bought anal lube—and continue to reapply it throughout play, she says. Otherwise, the friction of dry skin on skin or silicone on skin can cause micro-tears in the delicate tissues of the anal canal, which increase your risk for post-play pain, infection, and hemorrhoids.

When it comes to the second tenet of good anal sex, it’s equally important to be patient with penetration. Just as you have to train the other muscles in your body in order to get them to do what you want them to do, you have to train your anal muscles, too—which takes time.

“The entrance of the anal opening has two sphincters, layered on top of each other,” says Reeves. While the outer sphincter is under your conscious control and can be opened and closed at will, the inner sphincter has to be ‘taught’ or trained to relax through anal dilation, anal massage, foreplay, and intentional breathing. “That inner sphincter is governed by the autonomic nervous system, and in order for it to open and be fully receptive to penetration, you have to feel safe and relaxed,” adds Reeves.

All of the above is essential to keeping anal pain-free (aka how it should always be). Anal sex suppositories are designed to be used in conjunction with these other practices in your anal toolkit to make anal penetration even more enjoyable, says Reeves.

My experience with Foria Booty Melts

As much as I love to help other people have anal sex, receptive anal play doesn’t usually make an appearance in my solo or partnered sex life—mostly because I’m a busy girl, and my butt does not respond well to knowing it’s on a schedule. But as luck would have it, the day Foria’s Booty Melts were delivered was a day I had nothing on my to-do list but myself. (Yes, I schedule masturbation into my Google calendar.)

In my excitement, I opened the package, washed my hands, and immediately plopped one in. No thicker than a Bic pen, these melts are accessible even to people who have never had so much as a pinky in their stinky (sorry). And while the melt holds its shape in the temperature-protective packaging, as soon as you take it out and hold it between your fingers, it becomes malleable. (If you still feel on edge about insertion, you can coat the bullet with some anal-specific lubricant, like Cake Cush Tush).

While the melt holds its shape in the temperature-protective packaging, as soon as you take it out and hold it between your fingers, it becomes malleable.

According to Reeves, the Foria Booty Melts work best if you insert them 15 to 20 minutes ahead of anal play, “so they have time to melt and absorb locally into your body.” While my melt, well, melted, I took out my favorite hands-free grinding vibrator (for some fun in the front door), and by the time I reached orgasm, I could tell that the hemp from the melt had also absorbed into the muscles in my hiney, and they were relaxed and chillin’.

I took out an anal-safe stainless steel wand, lathered it and my entrance with lubricant, then got into a missionary with my legs lifted—and wow, did I enjoy myself. Personally, I find it easiest to have an orgasm (including an anal orgasm) when lying on my back. If you’re new(er) to anal play, however, Reeves suggests experimenting with different positions. “Some popular positions for anal play include lying on your side, doggy style, or using pillows for support,” she says. “Find what feels most comfortable and pleasurable for you.”

As a sexperimenter who has had the pleasure (truly, pleasure!) of using a variety of CBD-infused sexual wellness products, I wasn’t surprised that the Booty Melts turned me into a puddle of delight when all was said and cum. But I was worried that my bum was going to feel goopy the rest of the day. Thankfully, however, while a little clean-up was required, I did not feel like I was dripping like an ice cream cone in the sun as I went about my day.

Admittedly, Foria’s Booty Melts are a little on the pricey side (given that a package of four is $34, each bullet is $8.50), so I can’t afford to use one every time I have anal. But I will reach for them anytime I or one of my partner’s is sizing up toys and looking to spice things up. And I’d recommend these to anyone who’s looking for some extra support when it comes to dabbling in derriere play.

Maude, Heat Warming Lubricant — $20.00

Maude Heat is a water-based warming lube that uses capsaicin to spice things up down there.

Size: 4 ounces
Kind of lube: Water-based
Fragrance: No
Vegan: Yes

Pros:

• Provides a fantastic, slippery consistency
• Long-lasting
• Just the right amount of heat
• Affordable
• Packaging is easy to use (especially *in the moment*)

Cons:

• May not be ideal for those with sensitive skin

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Heat, which launched back in mid-May, is a long-lasting, pH-balanced formula that delivers just the right amount of, well, heat. Per the brand, you can apply Heat externally, like to your clitoris or penis, or internally, maybe to your G-spot or anus. Having tried this for myself during solo and partnered play, I’m a big fan.

Functionally, warming lubes work like other lubes: They create a more slippery environment that can make solo or partnered play more pleasurable by eliminating friction (created by dryness). What makes them unique is, of course, the warming element (created by the ingredient capsaicin, the active compound of the chili pepper) which can enhance the experience even more.

First impressions

I’ve loved Maude since its inception because the brand has always stood by quality ingredients and creating products that are simply beautiful. Heat exemplifies that. It comes in an olive-green matte box adorned with a glossy silhouette of the product. I delicately opened the beautiful package and found the brown, opaque, four-ounce bottle topped with a flip-top dispenser. If you’re more of a pump fan, worry not—there’s a pump dispenser in here, too.

Review: Maude’s warming lube turned up the heat—and the pleasure

During solo play

As a sex writer, I’ve tried a lot of lubes in my life, including flavored, warming, and cooling formulas. One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned, one that actually almost applies to everything in life, is this: you can always do more, but you can never do less. Start small before you go big—especially with a warming lube, and especially if this is your first time using a warming lube.

I started by doing small patch test before using Heat full-on. I needed to know what it felt like to determine how much I should put on my clitoris—or if I would even like it. Plus, as Maude points out, a patch test is particularly advisable if you’re allergy-prone or have sensitive skin.

Once I knew what it felt like—a warm, gentle wave—I added the lube little by little so I didn’t overheat myself. (Get it?) I experimented with a few drops at first, eventually building up to a nickel-sized amount. That felt good, but I wanted a bit more. As I learned, I like about a quarter-sized amount of Heat.

As I mentioned above, this lube comes with two dispensers: a pump and a flip-top. While I started with the pump dispenser, I switched to the flip-top lid when I found my personal sweet spot. One full pump is a little more than that quarter-sized portion I needed.

During partnerned play

The first time I tried Heat was during partnered play. From there, I knew it would be my new go-to for masturbation, too. It wasn’t just pleasurable to me, but it also boosted my partners’ bliss.

Even though I’m bisexual, I’m only having sex with penis-owners at the moment. Moreover, we stick to penis-to-vagina sex and we tend not to experiment anally—meaning I can’t speak to how this might feel during anal sex. What I can share, however, is how my partners said this felt on their penises.

One of them, who put it directly on his penis, says that he initially liked the sensation. He’s a fan of how fluid this lube is, having never dried out during our interactions. However, as time went on, he found it was a little too hot for his liking.

My primary partner, who simply came into contact with Heat through my vagina, said he didn’t feel much of a difference. However, he did notice that I was more aroused, and thus wetter, when we used this lube.

Final thoughts

I’ll sum up Maude Heat in three words: I love it. Heat obviously turns up the temperature in the bedroom (or wherever you’re having sex), but it also made it easier for me to reach orgasm. Considering that this lube is affordable at $20 and that it’s Latine-owned, I can’t find any reason not to keep buying it.

But there’s another rule we should be following in the bedroom to prevent UTIs—use lots of lube, particularly if you’re prone to the painful, burning infections. “If the vagina is dry during intercourse, the friction can cause micro-trauma and may actually increase the chance of bacteria getting into the urethra and causing an infection,” says Jill Purdie, MD, OB/GYN, a gynecologist and medical director for Pediatrix Medical Group in Atlanta.

That’s where the best lubes for people prone to UTIs come in. Dr. Purdie says lubing up can help, ahem, things glide more easily, especially during penetrative sex, which in turn, prevents bacteria from getting where it shouldn’t. Ahead, find Dr. Purdie’s tips for choosing a lube that works best for you, plus some of her favorites to keep in your nightstand.

How to choose the best lubes for people prone to UTIs

When it comes to choosing the type of lube, Dr. Purdie says to opt for silicone-based or water-based lubricants. “Silicone-based lubricants are generally longer lasting, do not damage normal vaginal bacteria, or cause any micro-trauma to the vagina,” she explains.

Since the pH of water-based lubricants are similar to the vaginal pH, they make great options, too, and don’t run the risk of infection. Just note, water-based lubricants may not grease the vagina as long as other lubes, so some people may prefer silicone-based lube for its longer-lasting properties.

Keep an eye on the other ingredients, too. Some lubricants contain ingredients that disrupt or damage the natural vaginal flora or pH levels, which can increase the risk of infection. One ingredient that Dr. Purdie recommends avoiding is chlorhexidine gluconate “as one study showed it killed off all the good vaginal bacteria.” Additionally, steer clear of lubricants that label themselves as warming, as those can “actually dry out the vagina, which can increase friction,” adds Dr. Purdie.

Silicone-based lubricants

Überlube, Silicone Lubricant — $20.00

Originally $36, now $20

Dr Purdie love’s Überlube’s Silicone Lubricant for its long-lasting texture and sensitive-skin friendly formula. Unscented, flavorless, and free of parabens, this lube is less likely to irritate UTI-prone people and won’t disrupt natural pH levels. What’s more, it’s not sticky, won’t stain, and is infused with vitamin E to leave your parts more hydrated during sexy time.

Head to Amazon and you’ll find five-star review after five-star review, totaling nearly 28,000 reviews. One reviewer said: “We won’t use anything else! No sticky fingers or body parts, no smell, no taste, not greasy, and never stains! It’s super effective at enhancing pleasure!” Yes, please.

Pros:

• Silicone-based
• Infused with vitamin E
• Free of parabens, scents, and flavors

Cons:

• Expensive

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Adam & Eve, Personal Silicone Lubricant — $21.00

This best-selling lube by Adam & Eve is a popular choice for its slippery, dolphin-smooth texture that feels amazing on skin and is so easy to clean up. Its glide-y feel is so silky, it can even be used underwater, so if you’re getting hot in the hot tub or steaming up the shower, you won’t have to worry about it rinsing away. Shoppers love it for masturbation, partnered sex, and especially anal sex; one names it their “go-to lube” for “backyard sex.” Another writes, “it feels so silky smooth. We have found that it is amazing for sex, whether she is getting a little dry or if we are doing anal.”

If you’re using toys, keep it to glass, steel, or rubber as the oil can degrade silicone over time.

Pros:

• Great value
• Long-lasting
• Not sticky or hard to clean up
• Slippery even under water

Cons: 

• Can’t be used with silicone toys

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The Honey Pot Company, Silicone Hybrid Lubricant — $16.00

The Honey Pot Company was founded by someone who battled bacterial vaginosis (another uncomfortable bacterial infection) for eight months and was tired of the suspect feminine care products available to consumers. The business now makes lubes, washes, menstrual products, and more, powered by plants.

Enter, this silky soft hybrid lube that features a silicone-water base, so you get the best of both worlds. It’s formulated for extra slip, minus anything that might irritate your vagina.

Pros:

• Silicone- and water-based
• Affordable
• Long-lasting
• Condom-compatible

Cons:

• Can’t be used with silicone toys

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Maude, Shine Silicone-Based Lubricant — $23.00

Maude gets the vibes right with this Shine Organic Lube, which is as gentle as they come. This silicone-based lubricant stays moist all night long and is totally hypoallergenic in the sense that it has no fragrance, parabens, dyes, or nasty chemicals that might cause discomfort.  Not to mention, the formulation is non-sticky and glides on effortlessly. In addition to being friendly to the vaginal flora, Shine Silicone can be used underwater and with condoms (woohoo). Just be careful with your silicone toys—as with any silicone-based lubes, the oils can break down vibrators and dildos over time.

Pros:

• Silicone-based
• Can be used underwater and with condoms
• Free from chemicals, fragrance, and parabens

Cons:

• Expensive
• Can’t be used with silicone toys

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Water-based lubricants

Sliquid, H20 Water-Based Lube — $18.00

Originally $26, now $18

If you’re looking to get wet n’ wild with a water-based lube, Dr. Purdie recommends Sliquid’s H20. This slippery lubricant not only enhances your pleasure points but is free of likely irritants like gluten, glycerin, glycol, and parabens. And since it’s a water-based lube, it’s safe to use on latex, rubber, plastic, and silicone toys. *Adds to cart.*

Pros: 

• Water-based
• Free of gluten, glycerin, glycol, and parabens
• Safe to use on condoms and silicone toys

Cons: 

• Not as long-lasting as silicone
• Expensive when not on sale

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Slippery Stuff, 4-Ounce Gel — $8.00

Another great option for slippery stuff is, well, this lube from Slippery Stuff. This gel doesn’t leave a sticky residue and is free of odors, which helps UTIs at bay. Don’t believe us? One reviewer called it the “best lube ever” and said it’s, “the only one that doesn’t increase my chances of a UTI! It’s awesome.” Noted.

Pros:

• Water-based
• Affordable
• Doesn’t leave a sticky residue

Cons:

• May not be as long-lasting

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Good Clean Love, All Natural Personal Lubricant — $21.00

Good Clean Love is beloved by many gynecologists for its organic formulas. This one includes organic aloe, which may help to reduce inflammation. It’s free of petrochemicals, parabens, and glycerin to prevent a disruption to your vaginal flora while offering hydrating and moisturizing benefits and without damaging condoms or toys. One reviewer notes, “other lubes turn into a sticky mess. This stuff doesn’t. It feels way more natural and is easier to clean up. Also, it has a very nice smell… kind of reminds me of whipped cream for some reason.” A little dab of this will go a long way. Pleasure island, here we come (pun intended).

Pros:

• Water-based
• Has aloe
• Free of petrochemicals, parabens, and glycerin

Cons 

• Expensive

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Sliquid, H20 Water-Based Lube — $18.00

Pros 

• Water-based
• Free of gluten, glycerin, glycol, and parabens
• Safe to use on latex, rubber, plastic, and silicone

Cons 

• Expensive

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The Womanizer Wave ($119) may look like any ol’ detachable shower head at first glance. But actually, this chrome, claw-shaped attachment is a showerhead that’s engineered specifically to deliver orgasms. Designed through a partnership between Womanizer and premium bathroom product manufacturer hansgrohe, the product is the brainchild of both brands, blending Womanizer’s expertise in clitoral stimulation (they’re the ones who pioneered clitoral suction toys) and hansgrohe’s experience in engineering sleek bathroom fixtures. The result? An external stimulator that utilizes water in the form of three unique stream options. And after giving it a whirl, I can confirm that… stimulate, it does.

Womanizer Wave — $119.00

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Why a showerhead sex toy makes a whole lot of sense

For many people, the showerhead isn’t just the greeter at the door of self-pleasure; it’s a consistent guide that stays with them throughout their life as a person who masturbates.

As for why? It often boils down to practicality, says Dr. O’Reilly. “The shower is typically the only place that offers privacy for those who grow up in communal living situations,” she says. Fact is, thin walls have nothing on the overbearing rain sounds of most showerheads. Plus, the shower is often the only place where we get to spend a substantial amount of time naked, she adds.

“Running water allows an individual to explore all sorts of sensations.” —Jess O’Reilly, PhD, sexologist

Privacy aside, taking a shower also tends to be a naturally sensory experience. “Running water allows an individual to explore all sorts of sensations,” says Dr. O’Reilly. “Even if those sensations are not necessarily erotic, because the shower gives you time to tune into your body, it can lay the groundwork to explore the erotic.”

It only makes sense, then, that shower masturbation might follow. And a detachable showerhead has long offered a way to direct the water stream onto the same external erogenous zones you might stimulate with a hand or toy, like the clitoral hood and labia. Recognizing that common behavior is what inspired the Womanizer and hasgrohe teams to create a showerhead explicitly designed for self-pleasure—one that’ll bring your wet and wild fantasies to life without the limitations of a typical showerhead.

How the Womanizer Wave works (and why it’s oh-so-different from a typical showerhead)

The Womanizer Wave took over three years, two prototype iterations, nine research projects, 60 interviews, 100 samples tested, and 4,000 responses in questionnaires to perfect. The result is a head—no, not that kind of head—that is 94 percent more pleasant, 88 percent more arousing, and 86 percent more suitable for masturbation than a normal showerhead, according to a study conducted by Womanizer. (And to be clear, it works just as well as your typical one for actual showering, too.)

The head has three different stream options: powder rain, pleasure whirl, and pleasure jet. Powder rain is most akin to regular shower spray and is probably the one you’d elect when shampooing and soaping. Meanwhile, the pleasure jet consists of a powerful, consistent three-pronged stream that is great for people who need constant pressure while masturbating to experience pleasure. And pleasure whirl uses a rotating stream to create a unique sensation that reminded me of a traditional vibrator.

Switching between the three modes is easy and intuitive; you simply press the button located at the base of the head with your thumb (which is ergonomically nearby when you hold the Wave in hand). There is also an intensity slider located on the neck of the Wave, so you can play with how much pressure the water delivers. Essentially, this functions like the “+” button on most vibrators.

My experience with the Womanizer Wave

While I am very sexually attracted to DIYers and Home Depot regulars, I, myself, am about as handy as… well, I’m not handy at all. So while I was excited to give the Wave a whirl, I was nervous that my own technical inabilities would essentially cock-block me. Thankfully, installing the Wave was as easy as twisting my old showerhead off, and twisting this one on. The whole shebang took fewer than three minutes max—which, to avoid burying the lede, is the same amount of time it took me to orgasm.

I had just finished a workout before installing the Wave, so I started my shower like I would any shower, by rinsing off and shampooing. While the Powder Rain option was effective at getting all the suds out of my hair, transparently, I wish it had been a smidge more intense. (Forgive the brag, but my usual showerhead is basically the Niagara Falls of showerheads.)

After my hair was clean, it was time for me to get (ahem) dirty. When I lifted the head out of its holder I was taken by how lightweight it is. Made from ABS plastic, the Wave weighs in at just six ounces, which made it far easier to maneuver and manipulate while I masturbated than a similar stainless-steel product.

As I mentioned, the product worked effectively for my clit within a couple minutes, so even if it was heavy, I wouldn’t have had to worry about my muscles tapping out midway through. But the light weight of this product makes it accessible to people of a wide variety of strength levels, as well as usable by those with certain wrist or hand limitations that might otherwise preclude them from showerhead-based pleasure.

In the shower, I wasn’t just warm, I was hot—which allowed my muscles, including my pelvic floor muscles, to relax.

Naturally, the Pleasure Jet technology in the showerhead deserves some of the credit for my easily reached orgasm. But, I also think part of the speed was due to the fact that I was warm and relaxed.

Despite the embarrassingly high temperature at which I keep my apartment, I am always cold. (Actually, before getting naked with my partners, I usually have to ask them to turn up the heat… literally.) In the shower, I wasn’t just warm, I was hot—which allowed my muscles, including my pelvic floor muscles, to relax. Given that an orgasm is essentially a series of pelvic floor muscle contractions, it makes sense that if those muscles were more pliable due to the warmth, it would be easier for me to O.

Also worth mentioning: I’m blessed to have a seat built into my shower. So, I was able to recline while I masturbated. As a person who generally thinks standing sex is overrated and has never been able to come with both feet planted firmly on the ground, the ability to sit was an essential element in my pleasure experience with the Wave. If your preferences are like mine, I’d recommend adding a shower stool to your shopping cart alongside the showerhead. (As an added bonus, the stool will make it safer for you to use lube if you plan to pair the external-stimulation from the Wave with an internal waterproof vibrator).

The eco impact of using the Womanizer Wave

Since the launch of the Womanizer Wave, there’s been some eco pushback, largely from the folks behind UK-based sustainable sex-toy company Love Not War who say that masturbating with water is a poor use of said water—and suggest that consumers, naturally, buy their sex toys for this purpose instead.

Certainly, spending more time under any showerhead does use more water than if you were to just get out of the shower once you were clean; indeed, some estimates suggest that roughly 300 million liters (about 79 million gallons) are used each year for showerhead masturbation alone.

But as a pleasure activist and sex educator, I take issue with people coming after water-wankers in the name of a greener world. After all, use of the toilet, bathtub, and washing machine all make up a larger share of our average water usage than use of the shower, as things currently stand. So, focusing a campaign on getting people—primarily folks with a vulva—to stop masturbating in the shower is, at best, ineffective. And at worst, it’s sex-negativity masquerading as environmentalism.

When it comes to using the Wave, it’s also worth noting that it was designed with sustainability in mind, employing technology that allows it to use 60-percent less water than a conventional showerhead. And if you’re anything like me, it won’t take you more than a couple extra minutes of water usage beyond the typical amount of time you’d spend in the shower to get off with the Wave.

No doubt, water waste is an important cause to rally behind. But to focus on the excess water loss from showerhead masturbation ignores all the layered reasons why people may choose to self-pleasure this way in the first place—like, because there’s less risk of getting walked in on or caught, or because it’s the only way they feel safe or relaxed enough to let their guard down and experience pleasure.

I may be a sex educator, not a campaign manager, but it seems like a more effective and sex-positive water-conserving campaign would be to encourage folks to use sex blankets so that they don’t have to change their sheets every time they bang or to shower together as part of a post-sex aftercare practice, rather than villainizing a masturbation practice that, for many, serves a uniquely satisfying purpose.

“A clitoral sex toy is a vibrator specifically designed to stimulate the clitoris, but pretty much any vibrator can be used as a clitoral sex toy,” says Chanta Blue, LCSW, a sexuality and relationship therapist. And yeah, of course, that’s true. Shoot, you could even make your hand a clitoral stimulation “toy” if you kept the touch external, but you don’t have to—thanks to strides in sexy innovations, there’s a litany of *actual* clitoral stimulation toys that do all the work for you. (And for many folks, feel way better than a finger.)

What makes a clitoral stimulator different than other sex toys?

“While the majority of the clitoris is located internally, the clitoral glans—[which we call] the head—is often the most sensitive area and leads to more pleasure for the person, so these toys are created to focus mostly on that area,” says Blue. “[That also means] many clitoral toys are made for external use only.”

Blue adds that whether they’re clit massagers or clit suckers, these toys “often simulate movements that mimic oral sex, like licking and sucking.” Rachel Wright, a licensed psychotherapist and the sex educator at the sex-toy brand Zumio, notes that clitoral stimulation toys may also offer “rotations, vibrations, suctions, air pulsations, or a pump.”

Importantly, clitoral stimulation toys are not the same as sexual toys designed to stimulate your G-spot. “The clitoris is on the inside and outside of the body,” says Wright. “Most folks who have one primarily reach orgasm via clitoral stimulation. The G-spot is inside the body and can only be reached with penetration.”

What to look for when you’re shopping for a clitoral sex toy

“As with any sex toy, it’s important to be sure the toy is made of body-safe materials,” cautions Blue. “You may also want to consider what sensations feel good to you the most. Do you like how it feels for your clit to be sucked on? Or do you like the tickling sensation of a tongue?”

Wright completely agrees, saying that “there is no reason to reinvent the wheel when it comes to picking a sex toy.” If you like oral sex, look for something that mimics the lapping of lips or flick of a tongue. If you like having your hands to explore other erogenous zones, use something that can be used hands-free, like wearable vibrators.

How to use a clitoral stimulation toy

Wright says using these toys is plain and simple: “Read the instructions, use lube, and have fun.”

Blue adds that it helps to make sure you’re properly lubricated (be it from natural secretions or toy-safe lubricant) to reduce friction and possible tearing of the skin.“I always say, ‘the wetter the better,’ as it heightens sensations and allows for smoother movements,” she says. From there, Blue adds that you can place the toy directly on the clitoris or other areas of your vulva to stimulate the internal parts of the clitoris as well.

Even though this type of toy is designed to externally stimulate the clitoris, it may also feel pleasurable on other places throughout the body. In addition to the clitoris, feel free to (safely) explore everything from your ear lobes to your pinky toes—whatever you find tantalizing.

The 11 best clitoral stimulation toys sure to give you orgasms for days

Magic Wand, Magic Wand — $70.00

Previously called the Hitachi Magic Wand, this is the OG sex wand. The head of the Magic Wand Vibrator is about 2.25 inches in diameter, so it’s able to fully encompass your clitoris and give it the stimulation it deserves. It’s crucial to note that this isn’t a rechargeable clit massager. In fact, in order for it to even turn on (or turn you on), you’ll have to keep it plugged into an electrical outlet. The good news is that its cord is six feet long, so it doesn’t limit your mobility that much.

Speaking of being limited, it’s also important to note that the Magic Wand Vibrator only comes equipped with two speeds: 5,000 vibrations per minute and 6,000 vibrations per minute, so there isn’t much versatility here.

That said, this has been a long-time favorite for a reason. Exhibit A? A five-star review on sexual wellness retailer Good Vibrations: “I think that this is probably the most powerful massager that is made. When people say it’s heavy-duty, they really mean it. If you take care of it and don’t submerge the head in the water, it will easily last you a lifetime.”

Pros:

• Powerful
• Popular
• Covers a large surface area

Cons:

• Not cordless
• Large
• Only two speed variations

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Pepper, Pepper Pal Bullet Vibrator — $51.00

By design, bullet vibrators are meant to make your clitoris shine (and you, sing, if I do say so myself).

Albeit small (3.5-inches in length), Pepper’s Pal Bullet Vibrator is mighty. That’s thanks to its body-resonating motor, which is a fancy way of saying the toy will turn off if it’s away from your body for too long; it also features three different speeds as well as three pulse patterns.

As for the not-so-cool features? The lowest speed is still quite loud and rumbly, so you might want to keep shopping if you need something more on the quiet side. Also, Pepper wanted to do something cool with the body-resonating motor, but I found that the toy shutting off ruined the mood from time to time. That said, I would still recommend this ultra-soft and mega-sultry bullet.

Pros:

• Soft
• Easy to pack
• Powerful

Cons:

• Not that quiet
• Turns off when it’s not in contact with skin

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Womanizer, Starlet 2 — $55.00

“The womanizer is an OG in the sex toy world,” says Blue. “It was one of the first—if not the first—suction-based clitoral sex toy, so I’m sure this will be enjoyable for folks, especially since it’s waterproof.” Available in three colors, this toy is the paragon of a clit sucker, as it engulfs your clitoris in a hollow silicone attachment and tugs on it in a sucking motion.

It’s also equipped with four intensity levels, Womanizer’s patented Pleasure Air Technology (which is meant to feel like cunnilingus), and a run time of 30 minutes. I do wish it had a longer run time and that the handle was made of silicone for a better grasp. It would also be cool if the USB charging cable wasn’t magnetic so it’d be easier to keep stable.

Pros:

• Feels like the closest thing to cunnilingus
• Small and easy to pack
• Waterproof

Cons:

• Short run time  
• Magnetic charger is tricky to use  

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Satisfyer, Satisfyer Pro 2 Generation 3 — $60.00

While it’s similar to the Starlet in that it’s rechargeable, has a silicone attachment at the head, and is about the size of your palm, the Satisfyer Pro 2 is also different in a couple of ways. Namely, its exterior is made of soft and medical-grade silicone, making this toy is easier to grasp than the Starlet.

I also love that this clit sucker features 11 pressure wave modes and 12 vibration programs so that you can tailor the experience. Perhaps my favorite thing about this toy, though, is that it has two distinct head attachments. The first is a regular suction head, which is completely hollow. The second, however, has a small silicone cover that “creates intense waves that imitate the sensual gush of pulsating water.” Whether you get this in red, purple, or black, you’re sure to find your new favorite sex toy.

Pros:

• Features air pulsation plus vibration
• Easy to hold
• Waterproof

Cons:

• The magnetic charger is tricky to use

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Zumio, Model I Clitoral Stimulator — $109.00

When this clit massager first landed in my inbox, I didn’t expect much from it. It struck me as tiny and ineffective, but those went out the window when I tried this waterproof clitoral stimulation toy for myself. It’s available in four rechargeable models and colorways— the X, S, E, and I—which each feature “different tips and stems to deliver unique sensations,” according to the brand. I tested out the I model because it has the broadest contact area and features an elliptical rotation instead of a circular one.

The Zumio doesn’t actually vibrate, even though it looks like it does. Instead, it rotates rather quickly in order to provide its powerful and rumbly 7,000 rotations per minute. There are eight speeds on all Zumios. The lowest setting on mine was strong enough to cause an orgasm in around five minutes—and the strongest setting, believe it or not, led to the big O in five seconds flat. If you’re looking for a toy that works slowly and steadily, you’ll probably want to keep scrolling. But if you’re on the hunt for something quick and reliable, you’ve found your match.

Pros:

• Waterproof
• Very quiet
• Powerful

Cons:

• Doesn’t cover a large surface area
• Might be too powerful (even the lowest setting is quite strong)

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Lovehoney, Magic Bullet — $17.00

If you’re new to the sex toy game, this un-intimidating bullet vibrator might be the perfect 100-level course. It’ll still teach you what you need to know, but there aren’t any overly complex features. In fact, to turn on this toy, you just need to push the rubbery button on the bottom of the vibe. You do the same thing when you want to switch between the three speeds and seven vibration patterns.

“I love a good bullet,” says Blue—and the Lovehoney Magic Bullet falls squarely in that camp. “It’s sleek, discreet, and is great for newbies and veterans alike,” she adds. The Lovehoney Magic Bullet offers a pointed tip for “precise external stimulation, according to the product page. However, I’ve found myself hoping for a flatter and wider surface. Additionally, this is one of a handful of battery-operated sexual toys, and—like when we were kids—the batteries are not included. It does, however, come in three colors.

Pros:

• Affordable and efficient
• Powerful

Cons:

• The tip doesn’t cover much surface area
• Battery-operated

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Lelo, Sona Cruise 2 — $119.00

I’ve never tried a Lelo toy that I didn’t love upon first use, and the Sona Cruise is no different. It boasts 12 vibration settings, which increase in intensity and speed; it uses sonic pulses, meant to resonate more deeply into the clitoris; and it’s made out of body-safe silicone. With a full charge, you can get up to two hours of usage. Lastly, it comes with a three-button interface: the middle button, which turns the toy on and off; the bottom button, which counterintuitively increases the vibration; and the top button, which reduces intensity.

“Lelo is known for its quality when it comes to sex toys. They are often versatile and last for
years,” says Blue, adding that she has one that’s stood the test of time—almost 10 years, to be exact! “I also love that it’s waterproof,” Blue says. The Lelo Sona 2 comes in three colors: purple, pink, and black. On the Lelo website, there are a total of 2,943 reviews, of which more than 2,200 are five-star ratings. Like this one: “The look is very classy, the touch is soft, it is waterproof so easy to clean after use, but most importantly it gives. so. many. orgasms.” That said, each orgasm will cost you, considering that this suction vibrator costs over $100.

Pros:

• Waterproof
• Easy to grasp
• Two-hour run time
• Reliable

Cons:

• Expensive

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We-Vibe, Tango X — $79.00

You know how Amazon sells sex toys? Well, this one might be the best bullet the retailer offers. This toy is waterproof and rechargeable, offering two hours of play upon every full charge. You can also switch between eight intensity levels and seven vibration patterns.

“The WeVibe Tango is a classic,” says Wright. “It’s a great play on a bullet vibe for those that want vibrations that aren’t too broad.” Like the Lovehoney Magic Bullet Vibrator, this clit massager is pointed, but unlike the previous, the WeVibe Tango’s tip actually covers a lot of surface area. It’s great for partnered or solo play.

Pros:

• Covers a lot of surface area for a small toy
• Two-hour run time
• Waterproof

Cons:

• Magnetic charger can be tricky to use

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Bloomi, Massage Clitoral and Body Vibrator — $40.00

Bloomi ensures that all of its devices are manufactured “with non-toxic materials such as medical-grade silicone and stainless steel.” The brand even provides instructions on how to use its products for maximum pleasure.

I’m a particularly big fan of Bloomi’s Massage Clitoral and Body Vibrator, a flexible toy made of medical-grade and lusciously smooth silicone. According to Bloomi’s instructions on the product page, you can use this toy with a water-based lubricant on your genitals. You can also use it as a massager to relieve tension all over your body. Since this vibe is on the smaller side, it might just be better as a vibe than a massager, though.

Pros:

• Soft and body-safe
• Double sided
• Woman- and BIPOC-owned

Cons:

• Small

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Je Joue, Rabbit Bullet Vibe — $65.00

The name is apt, as this toy has rabbit ears like that type of vibe, but it doesn’t have the insertable portion, which makes it a bullet. What makes this product stand out to me is that it takes a dual approach to the clitoris, touching it on either side. However, this toy’s vibrations are strong enough, even on the lowest setting, for this vibe to feel like it’s paying attention to the entire clit at once.

It’s a petite vibrator (only about five inches long) that comes in two colors: purple or teal. It’s also rechargeable and allows you an hour and a half of use time when you charge it for an hour. Like other clit stimulators on this list, this clit massager is made of silicone, is waterproof, and is rechargeable with a micro USB. Some reviewers have noted that this product’s vibrations are more on the gentle side. This can be great for beginners or for folks who want less stimulation. If, however, you’re looking for something that’s mighty, you may want to keep looking.

Pros:

• Small and portable
• Rabbit ears provide all-around pleasure
• Waterproof

Cons:

• Very gentle vibrations
• Expensive

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Happy Rabbit, Mini Ears Rechargeable Clitoral Vibrator — $60.00

I guess rabbit vibrators are all adorable because this pick from Happy Rabbit is knock-your-socks-off cute. Sure, it’s only available in that hot pink hue that’s characteristic of sex toys, but it also has so many cool features. For example, it features three speeds and nine distinct patterns, which you can control with the power button on the front of the toy. It also has a travel lock so that your bag isn’t accidentally rumbling in the carry-on compartment.

Perhaps the most impressive attribute of this vibe is that it’s not just waterproof; it’s fully submersible, meaning you can use it in the bath. One reviewer says this is one of their favorite toys: “I got this toy as part of a bundle and didn’t think I’d love this quite so much! After using it for the first time, I now reach for it whenever I want a toy just for clitoral stimulation.”

Pros:

• Easy to grip
• Waterproof and fully submersible
• Soft and plush

Cons:

• Unique charger can be tricky to use

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Some deals that caught our attention include a 30 percent off site-wide sale at Foria (minimum purchase of $50 required) between May 15 to May 21. The deals continue with Mysteryvibe, the tech-forward and body inclusive sex toy company, which is offering 25 percent off the Crescendo 2 and Poco between May 25 and June 13. I could continue, but you’ll just have to scroll down to see the deals.

Below, you’ll find the best Masturbation Month deals that will excite all of your erogenous zones and give you the most bang (pun intended) for your buck. And keep checking back for the rest of the month—we’ll be updating this page with the zestiest of sex toy and accessory deals!

Foria

Take pleasure to new heights with Foria. Known for its CBD-infused intimacy oils (we love it so much, we’ve written about it before) that enhance and intensify sexy time (the brand has non-CBD options that are just as good, too), Foria is blessing us with a 30 percent off site-wide sale for all purchases over $50 from now until May 21. Shop the rest of the sale here.

Foria, Awaken Arousal Oil with CBD — $41.00

Originally $48, now $41

A best-seller, this Arousal Oil is infused with eight botanical aphrodisiacs that induce a sense of calm and relaxation, which makes play time feel oh-so-good. (It’s especially great if you’re stressed and would like a sexy aid to loosen you up pre-solo or partnered sex.) All you have to do is rub a few drops on your sweet spots, rub, and allow the feel-good sensations to build up. The result? Fireworks.

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Lelo

No code is required to save on some of the hottest sex toys on the market. From now through May 31, clitoral-sucking toys and more are up for grabs up to 50 percent off. Shop the rest of the sale here.

Lelo, Sila Cruise — $142.00

Originally $189, now $142

The Lelo Sila Cruise basically mimics oral sex—but is better (according to many, many opinions). Instead of a traditional vibration the Sila Cruise uses contact-free sonic waves that stimulate the clit, creating an out-of-body, intense sensation that lets you really ride the journey to orgasm.

 

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Maude

Maude is famous for its nondescript, chic toys and sultry massage candles—and now is the best time to get your hands on both. Well+Good readers can score an exclusive Maude discount: Enter code WGSEXED to save 15 percent off on best-selling vibrators. Shop here.

Foria, Awaken Arousal Oil with CBD — $41.00

Originally $48, now $41

A best-seller, this Arousal Oil is infused with eight botanical aphrodisiacs that induce a sense of calm and relaxation, which makes play time feel oh-so-good. (It’s especially great if you’re stressed and would like a sexy aid to loosen you up pre-solo or partnered sex.) All you have to do is rub a few drops on your sweet spots, rub, and allow the feel-good sensations to build up. The result? Fireworks.

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Mysteryvibe 

Score 25 percent off on Mysteryvibe’s most-coveted products—all of which have smart, tech-y designs that are engineered to hit the spot every single time. This FDA-registered, doctor-recommended brand offers best-in-class toys that *will* bring you to climax. This includes discounts on the Crescendo 2, Tenuto 2, and Poco. The sale has already started, and ends on June 13. Shop the rest of the sale here.

Mysteryvibe, Poco — $143.00

Originally $179, now $143

If you want near-effortless and precise G-spot stimulation, don’t look beyond Mysteryvibe’s Poco. This hand-held device fits into the palm of your hand and has 16 power settings to ensure you feel every single vibration. What’s more, it bends just like a finger, so you can easily (and precisely) explore new spots and sensations.

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Mysteryvibe, Crescendo 2 — $199.00

Originally $249, now $199

This vibrator won an award and for good reason: It was designed to help women suffering from sexual health issues (like painful intercourse) and mitigate barriers to pleasure. This bendable vibrator can reconfigure how you like it and features six power motors to hit your various erogenous zones. The

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Lovehoney

While Lovehoney doesn’t have a dedicated Masturbation Month sale, you can still take advantage of its deals section—which is offering up to 70 percent off tons of toys. Hundreds of items are on sale, including our personal favorites: The Rose Clitoral Stimulator (now $35) and Fifty Shades of Grey Rabbit Vibrator (now $126). Don’t see what you like? Shop the rest of the sale here.

Lovehoney, Fifty Shades of Grey Rabbit Vibrator — $126.00

Originally $140, now $126

Why settle for just one form of stimulation when you can have two? Lovehoney’s Fifty Shades of Grey Rabbit Vibrator has a thrusting bunny that provides both internal (G-spot) and external pleasure (clit), so you’re guaranteed to hit the right spot(s). At the same time. Plus, enjoy up to 36 (!!!)  vibration combinations that’ll help you live out your Fifty Shades of Grey fantasies.

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Lovehoney, Rose Clitoral Suction Stimulator — $35.00

Originally $50, now $35

Small but mighty, Lovehoney’s Rose Clitoral Suction Stimulator is everything you need and more. The discreet device features 10 different suction modes and a waterproof exterior, so you can have fun wherever adventure takes you. Shower? Yes. Floor? Also, yes. Add your choice of lube, and you’re ready to rumble.

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Babeland

You can certainly celebrate Masturbation May with Babeland, a women-owned and sex-positive sex toy company that has been selling tried-and-true goods for decades. Until May 31, reap 20 percent off a single item with code GETOFF at checkout. Shop the rest of the sale here.

Babeland, Niya N4 Discrete Palm Held Vibrator — $60.00

Originally $75, now $60

This palm-sized vibrator is perfect if you wanna keep sexy time low-key. Made of a soft silicone and waterproof shell, the Niya N4 can be used in the shower, bed, or anywhere else that tickles your fancy. Even more, it features 10 whopping modes, so sultry buildups are no longer out of the question.

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Babeland, Petite Sensations Bubbles — $28.00

Originally $35, now $28

If you like to experience things from behind, consider this bubble butt plug—which boasts three silicone anal beads, all of which vibrate. Featuring a T-shape, this butt plug is extremely easy to use, and as you descend down, each bead gets more girthy. Score it on sale now for 20 percent off.

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The Thruster

Thruster is hosting a site-wide sale. Enjoy 25 percent off these iconic (and hard-working) dildos. Click here to shop.

The Thruster, Puissante — $60.00

Originally $80, now $60

This is a must-have vibrator if you enjoy stimulating all of your senses. Thanks to the top shape, the Puissante is extremely easy to hold and can tackle all of your erogenous zones (clit, nipples, butt, etc.). Given its compact size, it’s a travel-friendly vibrator for whenever you’re on the go. For Masturbation May, enjoy it for 25 percent off.

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The Thruster, Velvet Thruster Teddy GS — $137.00

Originally $182, now $137

This Velvet Thruster Teddy will hit “the spot” every single time. This thrusting vibrator extends up to 2.5 inches, can bend 60 degrees, and deliver a whopping 128 strokes per minute. Made of body-safe and medical-grade silicone, the shaft feels extra luxe and buttery, which only adds to the whole experience. Plus, it has a suction-cup base, so you can stick it anywhere and ride things out hands free (or use it as a strap-on if you already have a harness).

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Unbound

Unbound isn’t hosting a dedicated Masturbation May sale, but you can save a whopping 40 percent off its best-selling vibrating plug, the Shimmy. Shop the sale here.

Maude, Vibe — $37.00

Originally $49, now $37

Maude seriously sends good vibrations with the classic Vibe. It’s a no-frills toy that’s got enough power to clock in orgasm after orgasm, and it’s smart to have several of these handy. With a three-speed motor and a soft-to-touch silicone outer, this small-but-mighty vibrator will have you feeling all kinds of good. Small, discrete, and comes with a travel pouch—the Vibe will have you not wanting to travel without it. Check out our full review of the Vibe here.

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Unbound, Shimmy — $36.00

Originally $61, now $36

For anal play, Shimmy’s Vibrating Plug is a whopping 40 percent off. This medium-sized, cute, and whisper-quiet plug offers five speeds and patterns for a range of fun. Plus, it’s completely waterproof, so you can “shimmy” your way in the bath if you’d like.

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Awaken Arousal Oil — $34.00

Originally $48, now $34

If you’re cool with CBD, get your hands on the original Awaken Arousal Oil, which uses all the same organic botanicals, plus CBD. There’s kava, a popular aphrodisiac, coconut oil, ginger, and cinnamon, which come together to enhance and awaken all-over pleasure. Perfect for solo sessions and partner play alike.

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What is the Awaken Arousal Oil?

The Awaken Arousal Oil is a topical sex and masturbation-enhancing oil meant to be used directly on the clitoris, inside the vagina, as well as the inner labia. It’s made from a broad-spectrum CBD, which is a natural compound found in cannabis linked to a number of mental and physical health benefits, like inflammation, pain management, and anxiety. But it’s not the only powerful ingredient Foria uses; the natural botanicals vary from product to product, but include tried-and-true staples like organic coconut oil, kava, peppermint extract, vanilla extract, and cacao. There are no silicones, sulfates, artificial scents or flavors to irritate your sensitive bits—it’s all au naturale, and all designed to take your sex life up a notch night after night.

What it feels like: Basically like an anti-anxiety medication for your clitoris, making solo and partnered play looser, more slippery, and intense. You can use it on its own or add your favorite lube if you’d like—but it essentially enhances stimulation and/or penetration. W+G editors are big fans, and so are Foria shoppers.

“Never have I used a product like this before, and I was admittedly skeptical. But holy wow, this packs a punch. The orgasms I have with this oil are out of this world, like nothing I’ve experienced before. It changes the game! ” one customer writes.

It’s a great tool especially if you’re prone to dryness or are premenopausal. “Can you be postmenopausal and feel amazing again? The answer is YES. All the Foria products are exceptional and really make a difference,” one shoppers says.

Other Foria favorites on sale

If you’re looking for a lube-lube, we highly recommend the Intimacy Sex Oil. It’s also infused with 400mg of broad-spectrum CBD and is made from organic coconut oil. This is an even more slippery option than the Awaken oil (and you can use them both!).

Sex Oil with CBD — $35.00

Originally $44, now $31

Foria’s Sex Oil with CBD is pretty much the Goldilocks of lube: It’s not too sticky, not too oily, but is just right, and is designed to stimulate your body’s own lubricants to boot. That’s thanks to the 400 mg of broad-spectrum CBD in each bottle that absorbs through skin to stimulate natural arousal. Just note, it is an oil, so any condoms, toys, or other “sex”cessories need to be oil-safe if you want to use them together.

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If you don’t dabble in CBD, Foria has a just-as-delicious CBD-free option (Arousal Awaken With Botanical) that’s just as powerful. Foria launched it last year, and it’s just as tantalizing as the original, formulated with sensational botanicals designed to get you ready for action in minutes, minus any cannabidiol.

Foria, Awaken Arousal Oil with Organic Botanicals — $28.00

Originally $40, now $28

Drizzle a few drops onto you or your partner’s clitoris and labia for a slow, sultry build-up that ends in fireworks. It’s made with eight organic botanical aphrodisiacs, including kava, a sultry herb that induces relaxation while heightening pleasure. Yes, please.

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These naughty naturals are the backbone of the Arousal Awaken With Botanicals. It’s the exact same formula as the original version, with all eight organic botanical aphrodisiacs, sans any CBD. This allows anyone who can’t or don’t use CBD to get their rocks off, too. With a few drizzles over the clitoris or massaged into the inner labia, Awaken relaxes the vagina, turning you on so you can experience all the feels, before, during, and after sex or masturbation.

And a quick scroll through the reviews shows that the CBD-free tincture is just as fun as its predecessor. One user raves that it’s the “best formula yet” enhancing their experience tenfold and ending in a “deep rolling release.” Another says it’s a “MUST-have for achieving the most mind-blowing orgasms,” while another says it’s even better than the original Awaken formulation and that, “My only complaint is that I run through it too quickly! I’ll have to stock up.”

We suggest you do stock up, and while you’re at it, explore the other goodies from the brand’s Sex & Intimacy Collection, all bound to give you orgasmic results.

Ava, Premium Personal Massager — $36.00

This is a silicone personal massager that can be used as a sex toy or to relieve tension all over the body. It’s available in two colors (black or hot pink) and has a 4.2-star rating on Amazon.

Pros:

• Is a versatile toy, serving as a massage gun and wand vibrator
• Minimal and gold-plated design that’s really gorgeous to look at
• Has super-soft and body-safe silicone that’s pleasing to the touch

Cons:

• Advertised as “quiet vibrations,” but still makes quite a bit of sound
• Has a lot of buttons, which can get tricky to remember

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From the moment I opened the beautiful peach-and-blue ombré box, I could tell that this was going to feel like a luxurious product—which is amazing considering that, at $36, it doesn’t come tagged with a luxury price. Overall, I would give the Ava Premium Personal Massager 4.7 stars out of five. I get into the specifics—like my first impressions, my honest review, and who I’d recommend this toy to—below.

My first impression of the Ava Premium Personal Massager

As soon as my editor asked if I wanted to review this massager, I surfed the web and researched the vibe, landing on some neat information. First of all: The Ava is an upgraded version of the best-selling Luna vibrator we’ve written about in the past—it just has a new name and way better features (we’ll get into those in a bit). Plus, there’s also a “standard” version of this vibrator, which is about $15 cheaper. However, this is much better and worth the extra cash.

The cloud-like box that the premium massager comes in allows you a sneak peek at your new toy’s silhouette. When I pulled my new toy out of the box, I was stunned—and, honestly, a little aroused—by how soft the body-safe silicone was. It feels like a buttery and velvety material that would melt you in all the right ways.

What the Ava Premium Personal Massager feels like as a massager and vibrator

As a personal massager

I recently flew from Los Angeles to New York to Morocco (and back), adding an additional drive from Los Angeles to Las Vegas, and back again—in less than two weeks. Not as perky or regenerative as I was in my early 20s, I got knots all over my neck, back, and shoulders as a result of the spontaneous trip. (Still worth it!)

When I got back, the Ava Premium Personal Massager was waiting for me, ready to make me whole again. Because the head of this wand is as flexible as Gabby Douglas, I was genuinely able to hit hard-to-reach crevices, like the nook of my neck and underneath my shoulder blade. In fact, I had a quarter-sized knot in my left scapula (medical speak for shoulder blade) and this massager helped smooth it out. The whole process (i.e. massage) took about 10 minutes. As the massager is easy to grip and quite lightweight, I didn’t mind holding it.

On my way back to the States from Morocco, I sat for almost 15 hours straight. My hips, thighs, and glutes were killing me. It almost felt like I needed to reactivate them or something, like I needed to remind them that they were, in fact, still going to be used. Luckily, the Ava Premium Personal Massager also helped in that regard when I got home.

Both times that I used this as a personal massager (instead of as a wand vibrator, which I’ll cover in the next section), I went with the consistent vibration and had it at a lower setting. I found that I could go up two more settings before there was too much pressure for my liking. Of course, I still explored the other settings—since there are a whopping eight intensities and 20 patterns! That, however, I did in a more sensual capacity, using the personal massager as a wand vibrator.

The Ava Premium Personal Massager as a wand vibrator

Once I knew how powerful this Ava toy was as a personal massager, I knew I would be equally impressed with its prowess as a sex toy. Since the diameter of this sex toy’s head is about an inch, it fully covers my entire clitoris. Now, I’m not saying that you can only use this toy to stimulate your clitoris. You can absolutely use it on your nipples, neck, and other erogenous zones—and I did.

If I’m honest, the rumbles of this toy are a bit too strong for me to enjoy directly on my nipples, but it’s quite pleasurable if I just kind of hover it above them. As far as my neck, this felt tender and still very sensual on the lowest setting. One unexpected place I tried and loved? My ears. Hear me out (no pun intended, omg!): The flicking motion is reminiscent of a finger sliding back and forth on your clitoris.

While this toy is affordable, feels ultra-smooth, and has an amazing run time of six hours, I have to say that I’m not a big fan of its interface. It has a total of four buttons, from top to bottom: a button with four ascending vertical lines to switch between the eight intensities; a button with a horizontal squiggly line to control the 20 patterns (which is still extremely impressive to me); a button with a power signal that’s pretty self-explanatory; and bigger button all the way at the bottom that’ll send the vibe into “max power.”

Over the past two years, I’ve used dozens of sex toys, so I have to point out that the Ava Premium Personal Massager has a cool feature that I haven’t seen in a lot of other toys: a battery display. Like, let’s say your toy is running low on battery. In this case, you’ll see four small red dots aligned vertically. Conversely, when your vibe is fully charged, you’ll see three small yellow lights topped by one green one above the top button (which controls the intensities, remember?).

Who I think would like the Ava Premium Personal Massager

After testing this vibe a handful of times, I have to say that it’s hard to imagine someone who wouldn’t benefit from this purchase. It’s a wonderful personal massager, allowing you to get deep into even the most stubborn of knots. With so many different patterns and eight progressively stronger vibration settings, it’s probably the best massager you can get for less than $40.

If you’re looking for a plush and soft vibrator that’ll make your external hot spots sing, the Ava Premium Personal Massager is also a worthy spend. An Amazon shopper other than myself writes, “I sure put it to the test instantly and tried about 4 different speeds with 5 different modes.. each one of them was a serious super enjoyable, pleasurable experience and brought me to an intense climax NUMEROUS times.”

Another says, “my wife said this is off the charts !!!!!!!” (We love that for her.)

This vibe makes it easy to tease yourself on the lowest setting and it’s also efficient on the highest intensity setting. Whether you’re looking at this as a personal massager or a sex wand, though, rest assured that it’ll be money well spent.

First off: Is it safe to have anal sex with IBS?

There isn’t a one-size-fits-all-asses answer. Why? Because IBS itself does not present the same amongst all people who have it, explains Daniel O’Shaughnessy, an award-winning nutritionist and author of Naked Nutrition, an LGBTQ+ guide to diet and lifestyle.

“Generally speaking, it is safe to have anal sex if you have IBS and your symptoms are under control,” says Elena A. Ivanina, DO, MPH Director of Neurogastroenterology and Motility with Lenox Hill Hospital. However, if someone is currently experiencing symptoms—such as pain, uncontrolled diarrhea, bloating, or abdominal cramping—then they should see a gastroenterologist to come up with a care plan for their condition before anal play, she says.

Okay, but am I more likely to poop during anal if I have IBS?

“No, you’re not necessarily more likely to poop during anal sex if you have IBS,” says general surgeon Evan Goldstein, DO, a doctor in New York City who specializes in anal care and the founder of Bespoke Surgical and Future Method.

Poop is not stored in the anal canal, it merely passes through it, he explains. It’s technically stored higher up in the body in a section of the large intestine called the rectum, which is separated from the anal canal with a muscle called the internal anal sphincter.

Typically, Dr. Goldstein says, this muscle only releases to let poop pass through the canal after your brain has sent your body that “I have to poop” signal (you know the one!). So, unless you ignore the “TOILET NOW” message from your brain, the odds of you pooping during anal sex is very rare—and that stands for people with or without IBS. “If you have IBS you don’t need to be afraid of pooping during anal play unless you are experiencing a bout of IBS-related symptoms,” he says.

In actuality, people with IBS may be less likely to make a mess during anal, according to Dr. Goldstein. “Many people with GI conditions are more in tune with their bodies than the average population, so they know what their body can and cannot handle,” he says. Hey, they don’t call it a gut instinct for nothing.

Still, anal may not be for everyone with IBS because of pain

Poop isn’t the only potential side effect of having anal sex with IBS. Sadly, there’s also the potential for pain. While there is a common misconception that anal sex is “supposed” to be painful, that’s actually not the case, says Dr. Goldstein. With adequate lubrication, pre-play, and anal training, receptive anal play should not be painful, he says. However, pain may not be avoidable for people with IBS for a few different reasons.

It’s common for people with IBS to have uber-tight anal sphincter muscles, says Dr. Goldstein. (Medically this is known as concomitant pelvic floor dysfunction). “When people spend their day fearing that they’re going to need to use the bathroom or have an accident, they end up squeezing their pelvic floors (which includes their anal sphincter muscles) all day long,” he explains. This consistent clenching can leave your sphincter muscles in a state of constant-contraction, which makes your hole so small and tight that penetration is simply not possible (even with a beginner butt plug).

Receptive anal sex can also be painful or uncomfortable if you’ve been going to the bathroom a lot, says Dr. Goldstein. “Going often can leave your hole sore, and in some instances chaffed from the toilet paper,” he says. If your stools were hard or especially hard to pass, it’s possible that you have collected microtears along the delicate anal tissues, he says. As you may have guessed, having papercut-like rips inside your anal canal can make anal sex feel very stingy, he says. Ouch!

What about douching before having anal sex with IBS?

ICYDK: An anal douche is a power wash for your anal canal. Anal douching involves pumping water (or a special solution) into the anal canal with a lightbulb-shaped bulb to rinse your rear clean of any lingering residue, explains Dr. Goldstein. This is a pre-sex step that can help boost confidence, he says, but it certainly isn’t necessary—even if you have IBS.

If you do douche, however, Dr. Goldstein recommends doing so with something called an isotonic liquid solution (like the Future Method Disposable Rectal Wash), which just means a liquid that has the same pressure and composition as the liquid in your cells—the fluids in IVs, for example, are isotonic. Using plain water, he explains, can mess with your anal microbiome and increase your risk for microtears from either pooping or penetration. “You also don’t want to over-douche,” says Dr. Goldstein. “If you use too much liquid or rinse too many cycles, you risk causing yourself unwanted GI symptoms like bloating and gas, which mirror the symptoms of IBS.” So follow the instructions on your anal douche carefully.

Exactly how to have anal sex with IBS

1. Talk to your doctor

Before you consider having anal with IBS, talk to your healthcare provider, suggest O’Shaughnessy. If you’re already diagnosed with IBS, odds are you have a go-to gastroenterologist who has helped you come up with a management plan. So, ring ‘em up and ask them if it’s safe for you to have anal, given your crop of symptoms, he says. No need to be shy—trust, they’ve heard it all.

2. Eat mindfully

As a general rule, what you eat when you have IBS is important. Well, it’s arguably even more important if you have IBS and are planning to enjoy receptive anal. You shouldn’t edit your diet without consulting your gastroenterologist, says O’Shaughnessy. But as a general rule, “you want to avoid consuming too much fat or too much caffeine ahead of anal play,” he says. Both can stimulate the gut and increase risk of unexpected and unwanted bowel movements.

Adding fiber and probiotic supplements to your daily routine can also help reduce the chances of an accident during anal sex, notes Dr. Goldstein. “Fiber is helpful because it bulks your stool and encourages complete bowel emptying, while probiotics help encourage a healthier digestive system overall.”

3. Don’t douche…during anal masturbation

“Most of us—even those of us with IBS—are actually ready at the drop of our pants to engage in anal sex, without having to do any douche to prepare,” says Dr. Goldstein. But if you’d like to have a trial run before testing out anal with a partner, not using a douche while you masturbate will allow you to see just how “ready” you actually are without a douche, he explains, adding that this should give you the confidence to have anal without douching first during any partnered play later on.

4. Boycott wet wipes

Anal play in your future or not, Dr. Goldstein recommends staying away from wet wipes. Wiping with wet wipes, he explains, can mess with the anal microbiome, cause irritation, and bacterial infection. If you have IBS, these additional peach problems can make anal sex even less comfy.

5. Dilate

If your sphincter is more uptight than Brett and Marshall in the latest season of Love Is Blind, anal dilation exercises may help. “Using anal dilators can help stretch the skin and muscle in the anal area, as well as train you to relax those muscles” says Dr. Goldstein. Together, this can make anal entry more comfortable.

“The best part is the time commitment is nominal,” he says. “Just three to five minutes per session, two to three times a week is adequate to see major change.” You can even do it in the shower, which makes for easy clean-up!

6. Have a poop plan

Despite your best efforts, there is always some chance shit will happen. So, if you’re going to have anal  O’Shaughnessy says it’s best to expect the best but prepare for the worst. In practice, this looks like talking to your partner about the possibility ahead of play, keeping a towel within reach, and doing it on a blanket you don’t care about.

A two-in-one sex toy, this vaginal pleasure product doesn’t just buzz. Thanks to six weighted balls inside its body that wiggle and jiggle with the press of a button, it also pulsates, giving way to a super-unique sensation. After taking the bounce for a whirl, I’m convinced most pleasure-seekers would benefit from doing the same. Below, find my honest review of the Bounce Vibe from Cake.

Bounce Vibe — $56.00

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What’s buzzy about the Bounce Vibe from Cake

Encased in six inches of the turquoise, medical-grade silicone, the caterpillar-y looking Bounce Vibe holds six weighted balls that can shift within the toy, which can lead to several unique pleasure-rich sensations.

In vibrator mode, these balls move subtly inside the sheath while it vibrates, doubly-stimulating your internal hot spots, like the G-zone. Meanwhile, in thrust mode, the balls rock forward-and-back, which in action feels like a stroking finger. For the vulva-owners who get off from internal stimulation, as well as those who are interested in exploring G-spot, A-spot, or blended orgasms, this technology renders Bounce a winner.

For the vulva-owners who get off from internal stimulation, as well as those who are interested in exploring G-spot, A-spot, or blended orgasms, Bounce’s technology render it a winner.

It bears mentioning that neither thrusting toys nor toys with weighted balls are new to the market. Fun Factory has been making toys that thrust (like Stronic G, $170)) as well as dildos with weighted balls (like Bouncer, $100) since the early aughts. Likewise, b-vibe uses weighted balls inside its Snug Plug ($125) anal plug line.

Cake, however, is trailblazing in the pleasure industry by combining the two technologies into one toy. And despite being the first of its kind, at $56, the Bounce Vibe remains more accessible than its industry competitors that start at $100.

My experience with Bounce Vibe

I’m not usually one to play with internal stimulation while I masturbate. Why? Well, I have a two-minute routine that takes me straight from zero to sleep-inducing orgasm. But, I do enjoy being fingered by a well-manicured partner from time-to-time. So, when I learned the Bounce Vibe might be able to pleasure the same erogenous zones as a hand job might, my interest piqued.

I shut my dog out of my room, stripped to skivvies, popped in my earbuds, and blasted Russ. Once my brain stopped fixating on my grocery list and my body began to pulse with desire, I lathered the Bounce Vibe with water-based lubricant, and brought it between my legs.

At about the girth of two-and-a-half fingers, the Bounce Vibe is thicker than either the phalanges or phalluses that typically pass go and collect $200 from me. So, rather than muscling it inside, I let the toy rest at my vaginal opening. Each time the balls bounced around inside the toy, the toy stimulated the area. Soon enough, I felt my nerve endings deep inside my vaginal canal beg for stimulation.

I obliged, and then I orgasmed. Yes, it happened as quickly as that sentence structure implies. I was pleasantly surprised.

So, is Cake’s Bounce Vibe for me?

Benefits

If you enjoy vaginal penetration, then yes. Meaning, if you enjoy fingering, penetrative sex, or like an internal stimulator during your solo sessions, the Bounce Vibe should become your new nightstand standby. After all, the toy is specifically designed to electrify every nerve ending inside your vagina, and it does so effectively and efficiently.

Potential drawbacks

As far as critical considerations for the tool, while most vaginal vibrators can also be used for clitoral stimulation, the Bounce Vibe isn’t as adept at external stimulation as it is for internal. So, it’s not the best pick for people who prefer climaxing from clitoral stimulation. When I tried it externally, the vibrations the Bounce produces did feel good, but because the toy doesn’t have a handle or a non-vibrating component, my hand that was holding the toy went numb before I was able to have a second orgasm. (Though to be clear, yes, that does mean it awarded me one noteworthy clitoral O.)

In addition to not featuring a handle, it also doesn’t have a flared base, which means that it’s not safe for anal play. As such, it’s a suboptimal option for people looking for an anal-stimulation toy, or a two-in-one vaginal-and-anal stimulator. (Cake does offer great anal-play tools, including the Tush Pops ($32) or Buzzy Butt ($42).)

Still, I circle back to the cost. The Bounce Vibe from Cake is a mere quarter of the cost of many luxury vibrators on the market. As such, it’s a great option for people who want to sexperiment with new kinds of sensations. As far as sex is concerned, after all, you never really know unless you try.

“Many people have to train the anal sphincter muscles at the entrance of the anal canal to relax enough to accept a toy or body part,” says anal surgeon Evan Goldstein, DO, founder of proctological and anal plastic surgery practice Bespoke Surgical and pleasure tool company Future Method. Failure to train these muscles ahead of anal penetration can make the whole shebang feel like trying to put a square peg into a tight, round hole (no matter the shape of the actual “peg,” per se). Luckily, for that, there are anal dilators, which are smooth, tubular medical devices placed inside the anus to gently stretch the surrounding muscles.

“Many people have to train the anal sphincter muscles at the entrance of the anal canal to relax enough to accept a toy or body part.” —Evan Goldstein, DO, anal surgeon

Below, learn exactly what anal dilators are, how they work, and how to use an anal dilator set to prime your butt for frictionless butt play of all sorts.

What are anal dilators, and what are they typically used for?

Anal dilators, sometimes known as rectal dilators, are dildo-shaped medical devices that are inserted into the anus to support the health, shape, and function of the anal canal, says Dr. Goldstein. In some cases, they are prescribed to help relieve elevated pressure in the anal canal, which can cause recurring hemorrhoids (enlarged or swollen veins in the lower rectum) or anal fissures (tiny tears in the lining of the anus), says Steven Lavender, a pelvic floor therapist with Bespoke Surgical. Using anal dilators can therefore help relieve these ailments, he says.

In other instances, anal dilators, like vaginal dilators (similar tools inserted into the vagina), are used in conjunction with pelvic floor physical therapy to alleviate pelvic floor dysfunction. “Pelvic floor issues like chronic prostatitis, endometriosis, and proctalgia fugax (severe, intermittent episodes of rectal cramps that can be triggered by menstruation) can create pain that can be quite debilitating,” says Lavender. And anal dilators, in addition to relaxing anal muscles, can soften tight pelvic floor muscles, which may help relieve some of the pain associated with the above conditions.

How can anal dilators be used to improve anal play and sex?

For anal play and penetration to feel good, the anal sphincter muscles—which consist of three ring-shaped muscles along the anal canal—have to relax, creating open space in the canal, says Dr. Goldstein. In fact, trying to penetrate an anal canal that is locked shut can injure the anal sphincter muscles by pushing them past their capacity. (It’s like a hamstring strain, but in your hiney.)

Like any other muscle, these sphincter muscles are capable of either contracting or relaxing at any point—but the tricky part is, for many people, anal sphincter proprioception can be challenging, says Lavender. Meaning, you might not be able to easily tell when you’re clenching or relaxing those butt muscles in the way that you’d certainly know if you were tensing or relaxing, say, your bicep.

To complicate things further, the sphincter muscles are also “innately geared toward staying shut (or being clenched) so that we don’t crap our pants,” says Dr. Goldstein. Plus, these muscles can get locked in a contracted position during day-to-day activities like sitting at a desk or squatting at the gym, he adds. “Together, these things can create considerable muscle tone in the anal sphincter region.” And as a result, it can be a struggle to relax those muscles enough to make anal sex actually possible and pleasurable.

“[Using anal dilators] will help you regulate between relaxing to the capacity that’s needed for anal sex and [closing the muscles] when needed for the rest of daily life.” —Dr. Goldstein

That’s where anal dilators come into play. Their function is to train those often-clenching anal sphincter muscles to relax, says Dr. Goldstein. They do this by giving you something physical to clench against, which provides clear feedback for those muscles, says Lavender, helping alert you to the fact that they’re indeed clenched. Over time, this can teach you to differentiate between the feeling of contracting versus relaxing your bum, “so that you can regulate between relaxing to the capacity that’s needed for anal sex and [closing the muscles] when needed for the rest of daily life,” says Dr. Goldstein.

An added bonus? “Anal dilators also help gently stretch the skin and tissues surrounding the anal muscles,” says Dr. Goldstein. And a certain degree of skin elasticity is required for pleasurable anal penetration, he says. (But, before you ask…no, anal dilators will not permanently stretch out your butthole.)

How is an anal dilator different from an anal sex toy?

Anal dilators aren’t sex toys; they’re medical tools. So, while they can certainly be used to prep the butt for smoother, easier anal penetration, as noted above, they aren’t meant to be used as part of sex acts or for in-the-moment pleasure, like an anal-safe dildo or butt plug.

Instead, anal dilators are designed to give you access to future pleasure, says Dr. Goldstein. They typically come as a set of three or more dilators in incrementally larger sizes. “Anal dilators offer a stepwise progression so you can gradually strengthen, stretch, and train the anal skin and underlying muscles,” he explains. You want each dilator in a set to be just a smidge larger than the one before it, so that you don’t injure yourself when you graduate to the next size (more on how to use them below).

By contrast, butt plugs and dildos can be used as part of anal play—but are not designed to train the anal sphincter muscles to loosen up. “There is a common misconception that butt plugs and dildos can and should be left inside the anus for an extended period of time [right before or during sex],” says Dr. Goldstein. “But that only provides you with a sense of fullness; it doesn’t actually teach your anal sphincter muscles how to relax,” he says. (Plus, this can irritate the delicate anal lining, he says, making you more susceptible to infections and micro-tears of the anus.)

While dildos are also typically phallic in shape and butt plugs are often short, wide, or rounded, anal dilators are long, tapered, and smooth—designed to gently apply pressure to all three sets of anal sphincters. Like their sex-toy counterparts, they come in a variety of body-safe materials, but Dr. Goldstein recommends buying glass ones. Earlier this year, he launched the Future Method Glass Anal Dilator Set ($60) to offer a glass option for his patients, specifically because of the anus-loving benefits of going with glass.

Future Method Glass Anal Dilator Set — $60.00

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“The friction that glass creates against the skin of the anal canal is more controlled and minimal compared to the friction created by other materials like silicone,” says Dr. Goldstein. And contrary to popular belief, you do not need to worry about a glass dilator (or glass sex toy, for that matter) breaking inside you, as they’re made of durable, body-safe borosilicate glass. “The extra weight of the glass [over other materials] also provides additional pressure against the skin and anal muscles,” adds Dr. Goldstein, which helps the dilators work more efficiently.

Glass is also compatible with all lubes, including silicone-based lube (which can’t be used with silicone dilators or toys). And that’s a big deal: Silicone lube is the option that sexperts recommend for anal sex since it’s typically thicker, more cushion-y, and longer-lasting than water- and oil-based lubricants.

How to use an anal dilator set to prepare your butt for more pleasurable anal sex

1. Take steps to relax your body

Start by lying down on your back and getting comfortable. Just as your traps, jaw, and shoulders can tense up when you’re stressed out, so can your bum-hole, says Dr. Goldstein. And that’s the last thing you want when you’re about to insert something into it.

You might even try masturbating first, he says. “Some people treat anal dilator use as ‘homework’ and don’t include self-pleasure, but if you want to get off before using a dilator (or after), go ahead.” Doing so may actually help relieve some of the pre-existing tension in your anal muscles, and therefore make dilation easier.

2. Load up on lube, then slide in the smallest dilator in the set

Dr. Goldstein’s advice for how to actually use an anal dilator starts with lathering a ton of silicone lube on both the dilator and your anus. Then, position the dilator at the entrance of your anal canal and rock it back and forth along the entrance to prime the first ring of sphincter muscles. Next, gently push the dilator inside until you feel pressure from the muscles in your butt. If (and when) you start to feel resistance from your body, try to consciously relax with a deep breath in order to accommodate more length. Finally, at the point of resistance, slowly remove the dilator in one continuous motion.

“Re-lubricate, and insert again with a similar technique of slowly moving in, meeting resistance, and then slowly pulling out,” says Dr. Goldstein, adding that most people will need to repeat this exercise four to six times before achieving full insertion. Keep it going for 12 to 15 repetitions, in total, for a complete session—or until it becomes uncomfortable or irritating, whichever comes first.

3. Keep on using the dilator set, going up in size

For optimal results, Dr. Goldstein recommends using the smallest dilator in your set two to three times per week for two weeks. Then, use a combination of both the small and medium dilators for the following two weeks.

Assuming you don’t experience any discomfort using the medium one, you can graduate to the larger dilator after that point. “All in all, it usually takes about four to six weeks of regular anal dilator use for a person to create the needed relaxation effect for pleasurable anal sex,” says Dr. Goldstein.

Even once you’ve mastered dilation, though, it’s a good idea to keep using dilators if anal play makes a regular (or regular-ish) appearance in your sex life, Dr. Goldstein adds. Otherwise, the muscles and skin will eventually revert to their natural tone from before you started…in which case, he says, you’ll need to start the process over again.

The brand’s launch in more than 260 Sephora locations—with four of its products—is a big win for bringing sexual-wellness and intimate-care products out of the shadows, away from stigma, and into the hands of more people, says Maude founder and CEO Éva Goicochea. “We’ve always believed that [the intimate care category] needed to be in a prestige retailer because when you only see it in sex shops and drugstores, it continues the discomfort and the commodification of the category,” she says.“But when you start to see it in places in which you would buy your beloved personal-care item or your beauty products, you start to recognize that this category is just as important—context is everything in terms of evolving sexual wellness.”

How the in-store Maude launch at Sephora is a win for accessibility to intimate care

Sephora has been selling sexual-wellness products online for over a year from Maude and also Dame. And given the positive consumer reception, the move to an in-store offering is hardly surprising. In late 2022, Cindy Deily, Vice President of Skin-Care Merchandising at Sephora, told Well+Good that the sexual-wellness category is growing for the beauty retailer: “Sephora clients are actively shopping the category…We look forward to continued growth and expansion as we strive to meet the evolving needs of our clients.”

There’s more good news for consumers hungry for intimate-care products: According to market projections, the global sexual wellness market—which includes things like sex toys, condoms, lube, and supplements—is expected to grow from $28.22 billion this year to $44.23 billion by 2028.

While work to destigmatize intimate-care and sexual-health products is not done, Sephora selling Maude in-store is a big step forward. Maude’s products are available in other stores worldwide, but Sephora’s status as a massive purveyor of quality luxury goods is especially important to Goicochea. Housing Maude’s products under that luxe umbrella, she says, helps bring intimate-care products into the mainstream and chips away the stigma associated with them.

“When you only see [intimate care products] only in sex shops and drugstores, it continues the discomfort and the commodification of the category.”—Éva Goicochea, Maude’s founder and CEO

The in-store launch also presents an opportunity for a wide range of customers to find what they need in one place. Goicochea points out that there’s a variety of cosmetics and skin-care options available across retailers. That is, whether you want bold or minimal makeup products, there are many brands from which to choose and venues where you can find them (think: a blush at a department store, luxury boutique, or in the aisles of the drugstore). That’s not really the case right now for products related to sex and intimacy. “We should be able to have choices,” she says. With Maude products in Sephora, she’s making that happen.

The four in-store Maude products at Sephora include a massage candle, lubricant, and two body wash products, which Goicochea says specifically bridge the gap between skin and body care that anyone can use. Shop them below (and keep an eye out for them next time you hit Sephora).

Shop the 4 Maude products available now in Sephora stores:

Maude: Burn Massage Candle in Scent No. 1 — $30.00

This massage candle contains skin-softening jojoba oil. It’s scented with amber, cedar leaf, clove, lemongrass, medjool date, and tonka bean.

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Maude: Wash pH Balanced Body Wash and Bubble Bath in No. 0 — $22.00

The unscented version of Maude’s ph-balanced body wash can also be used in a soothing bubble bath.

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Maude: Shine Ultra-Hydrating, Organic Aloe-Based Personal Lubricant — $18.00

This aloe-based lubricant is one of Maude’s core products and addresses dryness.

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Maude: Wash pH Balanced Body Wash and Bubble Bath in No. 3 — $22.00

This body wash and bubble bath combo smells like eucalyptus, sandalwood, cassis, and Haitian vetiver.

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Since the early days of her music career in the ’90s, Aguilera has been “on a journey of talking about and embracing her sexuality as a woman,” she says. But the cultural narrative around sex didn’t always celebrate her for it. “Growing up in this business, sex was very much put upon me, and I was labeled about it, and it was all coming from the male gaze,” she says.

“I’ve always intended to empower myself and other women to embrace and celebrate their bodies.” —Christina Aguilera

At home, Aguilera encountered the opposite narrative—that sex was something hush-hush. “I grew up with my grandma and my mom, and there was such a, ‘We don’t talk about that’ vibe [when it came to sex], and there’s just so much shame around the topic,” she says. But despite being both objectified and stigmatized, Aguilera always intended to “empower myself and other women to embrace and celebrate their bodies,” she says.

To Aguilera, that act was never about pleasing a partner or being sexy for anyone but yourself. So when she came to learn that men were making the sexual-wellness products and lubricants women were using to have better sex, she was inspired to get involved. She began working alongside Playground co-founder and CEO Catherine Magee and co-founder and chief product officer Sandy Vukovic to offer an option that centers people with vaginas, instead.

How Christina Aguilera is empowering women to embrace their sexuality as co-founder at Playground

Playground lubes are specifically formulated with vaginal health in mind, says Magee. In the product, you’ll find the kind of soothing, hydrating ingredients typical of skin-care products, like hyaluronic acid, vitamin E, and bamboo extract, alongside a plant-based citric acid that has the same pH level as the vagina (to keep things pH-balanced) and gentle scents to set the mood.

But what most drew Aguilera to Playground’s lubricant formulations is its unique blend of adaptogens—ashwagandha, black cohosh, and horny goat weed—each chosen for its potential to boost arousal.

“It’s about taking any shame or weirdness about sex away, making it feel fun, making it feel friendly, and making it feel good.”—Aguilera

These are lubricants “designed to help make female bodies feel good,” says Aguilera. And that’s the big reason why she’s coming onboard: “It’s about taking any shame or weirdness about this topic away, making it feel fun, making it feel friendly, and making it feel good,” she says.

The role of lube in that picture—and the playful, pleasure-forward messaging around Playground’s lubricants—is to empower women not only to step into their own sexuality, but also, to go after their own pleasure, stigma-free. “What’s amazing about lubricant is that it can be used by women of all ages in different ways, shapes, or forms,” says Aguilera. “For example, if you’re experiencing vaginal dryness, this is going to help [make sex less painful]. If you don’t know what makes you orgasm, these are products that are really going to help you understand yourself better and know that it’s safe to explore.”

Indeed, that exploration can be a key part of learning what makes you feel good in the first place. And the more you understand your body, the more empowered you become, says Aguilera, who feels even more passionate about championing this message now, as the mother of an eight-year-old daughter. “I want her to know from mom first that your body is the most important vessel ever,” she says. “It’s your safe space. It’s for you. It’s your playground.”

The fact that the mainstream narrative around sex has finally started to shift, in recent years, to de-stigmatize sexual exploration and pleasure-seeking also gives Aguilera hope that she can continue to push the conversation forward. “I’m just so happy that now, what might have been taboo or controversial when I was releasing music and writing certain lyrics and [filming] my ‘Dirrty’ video, is almost an everyday topic,” she says. “Social media wasn’t around when I was coming up in this business, and now more than ever, I see more young women having open conversations with one another and creating a safe community to talk about sex.”

By joining Playground, Aguilera can amplify the sex-positive, pleasure-positive conversation even further. “It’s a natural space for me to progress into,” she says. “Not only do I like to make music, but I like to continue the conversation of inspiring women.” After all, she’s the one who told us all that we are beautiful, in every single way… no matter what they say.

And decades later, she’s standing by that confidence-boosting message. “[Playground lubricants] are just the next way for me to put a product literally into women’s hands that they can use to feel good about themselves,” she says.

Shop lubricants from Playground

Playground Love Sesh Lubricant — $25.00

The scent-free Playground classic.

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Playground After Hours Lubricant — $25.00

Scented with musk and oud wood essence.

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Playground Mini Escape Lubricant — $25.00

Scented with coconut and sandalwood essence.

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Playground Date Night Lubricant — $25.00

Scented with champagne and vanilla essence.

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“If it’s been a bit since you used a toy, you should clean it before using it,” says sexologist and pleasure activist, Carol Queen, PhD. “A used and then not-cleaned toy will not only harbor whatever skin cells, bodily fluids, and microbes [you] accumulated during your fun time, [but] in some cases, it will attract or grow more of them before you use it again.” Read: Since you’re putting these toys in your most sensitive areas, you want to keep them as clean as possible.

If it’s time to clean up your act, keep scrolling for the best, most convenient sex toy cleaners to keep handy, so you’re always ready for Round 2.

Shopping for a sex toy cleaner: What to look for

Just like personal lubricants, some sex toy cleaners aren’t compatible with certain sex toys. Cindy Luquin, queer sex educator and founder of Pleasure to People makes it simple and says to avoid any wash or cleanser made with silicone: “Water-based cleaners are best for silicone toys, so long as they have other ingredients in addition to water.” So, a cleansing agent, although preferably not one with alcohol, as Luquin says this can break down latex or silicone and dry your toys out.

Justin Lehmiller, PhD, a social psychologist, sex researcher, and scientific researcher for sexual wellness retailer, Lovehoney, adds that you should also consider “any skin allergies you might have. If the cleaner is going to be coming into contact with your body, it’s important to make sure it’s safe for your body.”

What to avoid

In order for a sex toy cleaner to manifest its intended use, it has to have antibacterial ingredients, says Queen—but there are some agents that users should caution. Let’s take triclosan, a chlorinated antibacterial compound, as an example: “Triclosan may be linked to cancer, many people are sensitive to it, [and] it’s thought to be associated with hormonal toxicity,” says Queen. “You do not need this ingredient to get your toys clean.”

In addition to triclosan, sexologists typically recommend staying away from fragrances and parabens, though Queen notes that “different people will have different concerns, preferences,” and reactions.

How to effectively clean your sex toys

1. Make sure you’re getting all the nooks and crannies

“I think any kind of cleaner—wipes, spray, foam—is fine as long as you mindfully get the agent onto the surfaces that it comes into contact with,” says Queen. Of course, you want to pay special attention to the areas of the toy that actually go inside you, but it’s good practice to get the whole toy, even if you don’t think certain areas are actually dirty.

2. Wipe off the sex toy

When you’re using a sex toy cleaner, the product packaging typically advises leaving the solution on your toy for at least one minute so that the cleaning agent can get to work. By wiping off the sex toy, you’re getting a good portion of that gunk off your toy, but not all of it—which brings us to step three.

3. Rinse it for good measure

“Most of the ingredients in toy cleaners aren’t ones we’d put into our orifices and just leave there,” says Queen. “I’d recommend always rinsing your toy after it’s been cleaned,” adds Queen.

4. Let the toy dry completely before storing it

Similar to how wearing a wet bathing suit can cause bacteria to multiply, so, too, can storing your clean sex toy before it’s fully dry. You don’t necessarily have to let it sit out the entire time—as you can also dry it with a towel—but you’ll always want to make sure it’s dry before throwing it back into your bedside table or underwear drawer.

11 sex toy cleaners that will keep your playthings in top shape

Pepper, Toy Cleaner — $22.00

Many sex toy cleaners are made with chemical compositions to kill off unwanted bacteria. “The more chemical ingredients, the greater the risk someone might be sensitive to it,” says Queen. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, though. “If you use and rinse off, that is a different story,” Queen says.

All of that said, this is my go-to sex toy cleaner from a brand I’ve really come to enjoy. I love the gray bottle it comes in because it’s translucent enough to see when I’m running out of product. I do make a point to rinse it off after I wipe it, though, so maybe that’s why the fragrance and chemicals in this product haven’t bothered me at all. Full transparency, my skin hardly reacts to anything, so if you know your skin doesn’t fall in that same camp, steer clear from sex toy cleaners that contain fragrance—which will be evident in the ingredient list, says Queen.

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Dial, Unscented Antibacterial Soap, 8-Pack — $28.00

Again, you don’t have to go out and buy a product that’s marketed as a sex toy cleaner (though it may be good to have one handy if you’re someone who likes each product to have its own use). “If all else fails, a good antibacterial soap, like unscented Dial, with some water works well,” says Luquin. “Just make sure to get all the crevices and handles and dry it off well.”

Since this product is unscented, you’re avoiding any potentially irritating fragrances, which is sure to make the experts happy. The cool thing about using soap as a sex toy cleaner is that it’s just as practical for regular hand-washing and personal hygiene. Not to mention it’s as discreet as it can be, considering that it’s hiding in plain sight!

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Hello Cake, Sex Toy Cleaner — $14.00

According to the brand, the best way to use this sex toy cleaner (which is compatible with silicone toys!) is to soak your toy in the spray for 60 seconds, then give it a good rinse before letting it fully dry out. Hello Cake also says this product is safe to use on your skin, but Queen would warn you to think twice about that, noting that “this is one that should definitely be rinsed off.” She points to cocamidopropyl betaine, a synthetic detergent, as the culprit. According to the Skin Deep Database, the ingredient “has been associated with irritation and allergic contact dermatitis,” but remember: this isn’t an issue so long as you rinse your toy off.

To be sure, people who have purchased Hello Cake consider it money well spent. Take Steve B.’s review, straight from their website: This product “does an awesome job cleaning toys. Used it on my vibrating ring, my girlfriend’s butt plug, and other toys. All came out super clean and ready for use the next time we needed them. Highly recommend this product.”

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Maude, Clean No. 0 — $10.00

“I’d use it,” says Queen of this sex toy cleaner. She also points out that the ethanol and coconut oil in this product makes it antimicrobial. Its ingredients list is quite simple, really, at just four ingredients: ethyl alcohol, water, glycerin, and fractionated coconut oil. This option is also paraben- and fragrance-free, so it’s made for folks with sensitive skin.

Maude’s sex toy cleaner also doubles as a hand sanitizer, in case you love multi-use products. To use Clean No. 0 to clean your toys, though, the brand recommends liberally spraying your buddy (two to three times is the sweet spot) once you’re done using it. Then, wipe the toy down with a wet towel and let dry before storing.

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Lovehoney, Fresh Toy Cleaner — $17.00

If you’re looking for a product to give you the best (no pun intended) bang for your buck, I’d go with this one. It’s a full 8.5 ounces and it’s less than $20. “This is a great all-around choice,” says Lehmiller. “The water-based formula means it’s going to be compatible with a wide range of toys, which means you won’t need different cleaners for different toys.”

Out of 657 reviews, the product has a 4.8-star rating on Lovehoney. The common thread in all of them is that this is a great sex toy cleaner that smells awesome and goes a long way. That said, the ingredients list contains some of those ingredients that need to be rinsed off, like cocamidopropyl betaine.

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Intimate Earth, Green Tea Foaming Toy Cleaner — $19.00

One thing to know about Intimate Earth is that their motto is “love naturally,” which means that you can expect good-for-you products with fewer chemicals. This foaming cleanser is infused with tea tree oil and lavender oil, which are both natural cleaning agents. This is another great option if you know you’d rather play it safe when it comes to substances that may irritate your skin.

You’ll also notice that this is a foaming cleaner instead of the sprays we’ve shopped so far, but that doesn’t mean they’re harder to use. In fact, you’ll still want to cover the toy in the cleaner and leave it on for about a minute, or until the foam settles. After that, rinse it off to make sure you’re saying bye-bye to the bacteria.

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#LubeLife, #ToyLife Misting Toy Cleaner — $10.00

On Amazon, this product has more than 12,000 ratings averaging 4.7 stars. That makes sense when you look at the ingredients list and notice that it’s free of parabens, sulfates, and alcohol—and makes even more sense when you consider that you get 8 ounces for $10.

While it doesn’t contain parabens, sulfates, or alcohol, this is still a product you 100 percent must rinse off after using. Sure, it makes it a bit more tedious, but #ToyLife contains fragrance and cocamidopropyl betaine, so it’s worth the extra effort.

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Lovers, Foaming Toy Cleaner — $17.00

“This is nice if you’re someone that likes a good visual,” says Luquin. “When the foam disappears, you know that the toy is clean.” Since the primary ingredient on this list is water, it’s safe to use on all your toys regardless of material—like ​​silicone, rubber, stainless steel, and glass.

Note: One reviewer says that their partner applies it directly onto his penis, but Queen strongly cautions against that. While it doesn’t contain cocamidopropyl betaine, it’s not quite as natural as other products—like Maude’s Clean No. 1—so it may cause a physical reaction. On your toys though? It works wonders and visibly removes evidence of your usage.

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Lelo, Toy Cleaning Spray — $14.00

Lelo is known for its aesthetic toys, and its sex toy cleaner is no exception. Looks aside, its paraben- and alcohol-free formula keeps your sex toys clean after each use. This spray is highly rated, too, with more than 200 users giving it four or more stars on the product page.

One shopper says that they love “the peace of mind this toy cleaning spray gives me. I know it won’t harm the silicone because it’s made especially for it, and because it doesn’t contain alcohol, but I also know it will still sanitize my toys for safety. Worth the extra cost.” Noted.

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Sliquid, Shine Tea Tree Oil-Based Toy Cleaner — $18.00

This is Queen’s favorite sex toy cleaner. “It has all-organic and plant-based ingredients,” she says. Sliquid’s sex toy cleaner is also aloe based and hypoallergenic, thanks to the burst of tea tree and castor oil. Just note:“Tea tree oil is a pretty powerful ingredient, with a higher likelihood of irritation and allergies,” says Queen. “Rinse it off!”

If you’re looking for something with no harsh chemicals at all, though, this is your best bet right here. In addition to being organic, it’s free of fragrance, parabens, alcohol, triclosan, and contains 95 percent organic ingredients. It’s also safe for most toy materials.

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Playboy, Pleasure Clean Foaming Toy Cleaner — $22.00

And, finally, we have Playboy’s foaming toy cleaner—which, in my Y2K-loving opinion, is the most aesthetically pleasing of the bunch. The formula, which comes in a shiny, reflective uses chemicals to clean your toy, making it key to rinse it off after using the product.

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“Sex furniture is furniture that’s designed specifically to enhance the experience of sexual behaviors because it’s great for supporting bodies of all shapes, sizes, and physical abilities,” says Chanta Blue, LCSW, a sexuality and relationship therapist. She adds: “It is also helpful in creating varied angles for easy access to genitals and deeper penetration for more pleasurable experiences.”

Javay Frye-Nekrasova, M.Ed, a sex educator known as The Millennial Sexpert, says that sex furniture may make it easier for you to stay in positions longer and even reduce strain on your body. This is especially handy, adds sexologist Carol Queen, PhD, for folks with “mobility issues or chronic pain, since a couple of models hold your vibrator for you.”

Tl;Dr: Sex furniture just *hits* different. But before you redecorate your living room, read this first. Then, sit back and “relax” on of these sexy chaises or chairs.

Questions to ask yourself when shopping for sex furniture

1. How much space am I actually working with?

“You are definitely going to want to keep your space in mind,” says Frye-Nekrasova. “Storage is important as most sex furniture pieces aren’t daily staples and most can’t be compressed back to the small size that they are when they come in the packaging.”

The fix? Identify the space where you’d like your new piece to go, then measure it for width, length, and height. “You don’t want to purchase a piece and it ends up not fitting where you want it to go,” cautions Blue. To be extra cautious, try to purchase something a little smaller than the measurements you get.

2. Is this piece of furniture going to be easy for me to clean?

Because you’re getting down and dirty on these pieces, it’s crucial to keep them as clean as possible. After all, there are a lot of bodily fluids getting on them. “I’d consider whether or not the cover is removable and washable. That’s a must for sex,” says Queen. “An exception might be the leather or faux leather covers that can be cleaned while they’re on.”

3. What kind of play do you hope to use your sex furniture for?

If you want to have aerial sex, then a sex swing will likely be your go-to. If you want to something more supportive, look for something built to elevate certain body parts, like your hips or back. If you’re looking to get restrained, you’ll want something to which you can be tied. “Think it through,” recommends Queen. “Some companies have customer service humans who can help you narrow down your choice.”

Ready to take your sex life to new heights (or depths, rather)? Scroll on for our favorite sex furniture picks, all sexpert-approved.

12 pieces of sex furniture that may be better than your bed

Dame, Pillo — $95.00

Great for: Hip and back support in all sorts of positions.

Out of more than 300 reviews on Dame Pillo’s product page, it’s earned itself 4.7 stars, making it a stand-out piece of sexy furniture. Its simple wedge design makes it great for a variety of positions, with or without a partner. It’s also extremely durable, made of polyurethane foam (a popular material used for most home furnishings) with a machine-washable cover and waterproof liner that keep inevitable stains at bay.

Per Queen, the pros of this product are that it’s “a good size, has a versatile design, and a washable natural fiber cover.” However, if you’re someone who likes to have a plethora of color choices, I hate to break it to you, but the Dame Pillo is only available in indigo. (Queen wants to know: “Where are my color choices?”)

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Liberator, Obéir Spanking Bench — $190.00

Great for: Bending over with a bit of restraint.

Whether you’re a BDSM pro or just venturing into bondage play, Liberator is one of the best brands out there. (Seriously, even Queen says this is a “great quality brand.”) Take this Obéir Spanking Bench: Its black microfiber cover resembles luxurious velvet; it has four built-in attachments to which a person can be restrained; and is only 2-by-2 feet and 8 inches tall, making it perfect for smaller spaces.
Dr. Queen is particularly into this spanking bench because it’s got a “versatile shape, bondage gear options, a washable cover, and is at a good price for the type of product it is.” It’s also not super obvious that this is a piece of sex furniture, and that’s a plus in my book.

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TOP, 100% Waterproof Blanket — $90.00

Great for: Protecting your furniture from bodily fluids.

There really isn’t anything on the Top Waterproof Blanket product page that even slightly suggests this blanket is intended for sexual purposes—until you scroll through the reviews. Exhibit A: “Love this, it’s my second one. If you’re a squirter, this is worth saving a dry spot! Reversible and throw over the door before work and it’s dry before dinner!” ‘Nuff said.

This stain-resistant throw is fully reversible, can be used indoors and outdoors, and can be machine washed and dried. It comes in three color options (purple and blue, brown and beige, and red and grey) as well as in two sizes (jumbo, which is 80-by-60 inches, and midsize, which is 60-by-40 inches).

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Liberator, Bondi Bondage Board — $350.00

Great for: Full-body BDSM.

At four-feet across, this is definitely a larger piece of sex furniture that’s more difficult than other pieces to store or hide. If you have that type of space, though, Frye-Nekrasova thinks it’s worth investing in this highly functional bondage board. It has a faux leather exterior that opens up to reveal myriad options for restraining a person. Plus, even when it’s closed, you can use it as a sex bench!

“It works great for making it so that you can be a smidge more comfortable getting down on the floor,” says Frye-Nekrasova. “The restraints work well for adding some kinkiness to the comfort.” The only thing Frye-Nekrasova notes is its size:​ “It might not be enough for bigger-bodied couples.”

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Sportsheets, Sex Swing Door Jam Kit — $80.00

Great for: Aerial sex on a budget.

Short on space and can’t hang a full-blown sex swing? This one from Sportsheets works with any doorframe, cradling you or your partner for aerial exploration.  Made with acrylic barbells that slip over most closed doors, it includes a sturdy nylon seat, hand grips, and stirrups for sexy swing play. Each holds up to 325 pounds and is fully adjustable to your or your lovers’ height.

“This sex swing is a great option for adventurous folks who want to take it to the air,” says Frye-Nekrasova. “The sex swing also makes it so that there is less strain on the body for a variety of positions.” The downside of the sex swing, adds Frye-Nekrasova, is that it won’t work with all doors. “It has to be a sturdy enough door to hold the weight of the person sitting in it,” she says. Word of advice? Test it out before you go all out.

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Liberator, Flip Ramp Intimate Positioning Pillow — $230.00

Great for: Custom support in various positions.

Available in six different colors, including grey and a very sensual red, this sex pillow exemplifies versatility. ”You can put it in different configurations to accommodate different positions and height differentials,” says Blue. “It can also be disguised as an ottoman if you’re concerned about discretion.”

The machine-washable cover is made of faux velvet that is just as soft as the real thing. When you fold the pillow into that ottoman Blue was talking about, it measures out at 19-by-19-by-15 inches. When you open it up to use as a ramp, it measures out a bit bigger at 37-by-12 inches. Yes, you’ll need a little bit more space, but the floor of your bedroom will do nicely.

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Avana, Sleek Chaise Lounge — $290.00

Great for: Redecorating in a way that doesn’t look horny.

Out of approximately 350 ratings, this chaise lounge has garnered 4.4 out of 5 stars. While it’s advertised for yoga and stretching, the sofa’s structure also supports sexual wellness and endeavors. “This chaise lounge is great for providing comfort while in different sex positions,” says Blue. “The design allows for the redistribution of weight and increases access to the pelvic areas.”

It also comes in five different colors, which is nice, Blue adds, because “it can be a part of the natural decor of your space.” Moreover, it’s lightweight even though it’s a bulky piece at 60 inches long. The kicker here is that the cover is removable and machine washable, making it a good option for sexcapades.

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Liberator, Sex Position Wedge Ramp Combo — $280.00

Great for: Adding depth to penetration.

When I ask Frye-Nekrasova for some of her favorite pieces of sex furniture, she first recommends this wedge-ramp combo from Liberator. “It is a great option for folks looking to add some depth to the penetration,” she tells me. “With the wedge combo, you can explore a variety of positions with ease and comfort.” Get creative but if you need suggestions, check out Liberator’s product page.

This pillow combo is made of microfiber that you can remove and throw in the washer. It also comes in three different sizes: short, (32 inches), regular (34 inches), and tall (36 inches).

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Liberator, Cello Chaise — $495.00

Great for: Large spaces.

Frye-Nekrasova recommends this chaise lounge which is a pricier, more luxury option. It’s also not for everyone, says Frye-Nekrasova. “It’s perfect for folks that have space in their home,” she posits. “It is also multi-use, and you can use it for comfortable position exploration or as a convenient reading spot for your favorite erotica.”

At a fixed 60 inches long, you’ll definitely want to get your measuring tape out and make sure you’ve got the space. If you do and still aren’t sold on using that real estate for this chaise, allow a reviewer to convince you: “I purchased this so my husband and I could try more adventurous positions. It gives much better access for oral and standing positions. I love the soft foam and fabric. Plus, the cool shape looks very artsy in our bedroom.”

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Bondage Boutique, Sex Position Enhancer Chair — $100.00

Great for: Small spaces.

On the flip side is this petite chair that’s great for small spaces. Coming in at 16.5 inches tall and 21 inches wide, this smaller piece holds up to 330 pounds and has four layers of elastic, which offers reinforcement as well as extra support and even a little bounce. This chair is designed to, well, enhance certain sex positions. For example, one reviewer said that this takes the leg work out of riding on top.

One thing to keep in mind is that Lovehoney, the retailer of this product, recommends having two people put this together since the elastic can be a little tough to stretch. From there, though, it’s quite simple to break down and stow away as well as build up and use.

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Purple Reins, Sex Sling — $170.00

Great for: Aerial sex without space or budget constraints.

This sex sling holds about 300 pounds of weight and is “best suited to homes with high ceilings and strong rafters,” according to the product page. Its design is reminiscent of a hammock, it’s made of nylon, and it has adjustable straps to ensure that it’s a good fit (or height!) for you and your partner.

Since this sling attaches to the ceiling through a carabiner, it’s a good option if you don’t want it to be part of your everyday decor. Regardless of how you choose to store it, know that the Purple Reins Sex Sling spins a full 360 degrees and—according to reviews—makes it very easy to give someone a pounding.

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The Cowgirl Premium Sex Machine — $1,800.00

Best for: Splurging.

Up until this point, we’ve explored sex furniture that’s meant for partnered play. However, there are many types of pieces meant for arousal and that doesn’t exclude solo sessions. Cue the Cowgirl Premium Sex Machine, a rideable piece of equipment that’s remote-controlled, features six vibration speeds and patterns, and has a 360-degree swivel rotation that lets you live your best cowgirl fantasy.

“The riding sex machine is one of my favorites to recommend,” says Blue. “There are different versions that can accommodate any budget, but the Cowgirl Premium Sex Machine would be a worthwhile investment.” Yes, it is pretty much one month’s rent, but it’ll give you the ride of your dreams.

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Whatever you decide to call them, there’s no denying that they’re great for non-sensual body massages and powerful orgasms, making them the ultimate multitasker. We tapped four sex experts to explain what a sex wand is, how to use one, and what to look for when you’re shopping for them. Of course, we also rounded up 15 wand vibrators that sex experts actually recommend.

Keep reading for all the goods.

What is a sex wand?

“Sex wands are personal vibrating massagers that can be used for sexual pleasure and to relieve muscle tension,” says Chanta Blue, LCSW, a sexuality and relationship therapist in New Jersey. They generally sport a long, slim handle and a bulbous head that vibrates or pulses for stimulation.

If you’re new to the wand vibrator game, Jessica O’Reilly, PhD, sexologist and host of the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, as some words of encouragement for you: “On the surface, a wand can look intimidating, but it’s actually a great toy for beginners and pros alike, as it’s highly versatile,” O’Reilly says. “It can be used to create pleasure of all kinds across the entire body.”

How to use a sex wand

“When using it for sexual purposes, it’s best for external use when stimulating the [genital] area, including the clitoris as well as the penis and scrotum area,” says Blue, caveating that most wand vibrators are not designed for insertion. “I would recommend rubbing the wand along your external genitalia as well as other erogenous zones to explore which areas the sensations feel best for you,” adds Blue. Whether or not you’re inserting it, though, Blue says it’s a good idea “to use a personal lubricant to reduce chafing.”

Sex educator Cindy Luquin, MA, CSE, founder of sexual-health education platform Pleasure to People, emphasizes Blue’s point: “You always want to use lube because it’ll provide less friction, making it more pleasurable,” says Luquin. “Water-based lube is easy to wash off and compatible with more toys.”

And they’re not just for steamy solo sessions—Carol Queen, PhD, staff sexologist at Good Vibes ensures you can certainly use your wand vibrator during partnered sex, but “Solo stimulation is where the wand really shines, since its size is not usually an issue in that case, and it’s an easy vibe to use.” She recommends lying in a comfortable position and “moving the head of the wand all over your body first for stimulation and relaxation.” From there, you might consider focusing on your upper thighs and genitals when (or if!) you’re ready for the big O.

What to look for in a sex wand

There aren’t any hard-and-fast rules about what your wand vibrator should do or look like. That said, sexologists still want you to consider a few things before going all in.

1. Material

“When looking for any sex toy, the first thing you want to look for is the material of the toy,” says Blue. “You want to make sure it’s made from a body-safe material that is non-porous, which keeps it from collecting bacteria when using it.”

Blue adds that you’re in the clear if your toy is made of silicone, borosilicate glass, or stainless steel.

2. Power source

Some massagers plug into the wall while others are rechargeable—which is important to know depending on how you’re planning to use it. “If you really hope to travel with it, use it during intercourse, or if you live in a thin-walled apartment, consider smaller, cordless, quieter models, accordingly,” suggests Queen.

On the other hand, if your sex sessions are more sedentary (and close to an electrical outlet), O’Reilly recommends picking one with a cord so you don’t have to bother with charging.

3. Weight

Not everyone feels comfortable maneuvering a massive sex wand for long periods of time, which is why it’s also crucial to figure out how easy a toy is to hold. “If you have limited hand strength or mobility, find out about the weight of the toys that you are considering,” says Queen. If you’re shopping online, check the product pages which should list things like weight, dimensions, and charging capabilities. If you’re shopping in person, check the box, which should have all is information directly on the label.

15 wand vibrators that provide pleasure *and* relieve muscle tension

Magic Wand, The Original Magic Wand Vibrator — $70.00

Chances are the words “sex wand” conjure up this iconic toy. Previously called the Hitachi Magic Wand, Queen notes that this has been a popular choice for a long time, despite the fact that its power source isn’t cordless. The cord is about six feet long, though, so it’s pretty mobile even though you’re tethered to an electrical outlet. Additionally, the fact that it’s a plug-in makes it so that you can use it Lionel Ritchie style: all night long.

In addition to being a plug-to-play vibe, the Original Magic Wand is made of vinyl at the head and plastic at the handle. At 12-inches long, it features two speeds, 5,000 vibrations per minute and 6,000 vibrations per minute. Since that’s some pretty intense vibration, Queen also says this isn’t the quietest toy. “I like to say it purrs like a kitten—but, to be honest, it’s a big kitten, so if you have thin walls and you’re a little shy, or like to consensually use your vibe next to your partner after they’ve fallen asleep, you might want a different model.”

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Magic Wand, Mini — $76.00

Less intimidating but certainly just as powerful as its predecessor is the Magic Wand Mini. It’s cordless, has three speeds instead of two, and is made of silicone as opposed to vinyl. Its size (9.5 inches long and less than 10 ounces) also makes it a great on-the-go option, says Queen.

Since this little baby is rechargeable, it’s good to know that a full charge gives you 2.5 hours of uninterrupted pleasure. Importantly, though, it takes just as long to charge it, so we suggest keeping it charged to avoid pleasure interruptions. The good news is that this toy has a built-in mechanism to save battery life: It shuts off after 20 minutes of continuous use.

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Pepper, Pamper Massage Wand — $139.00

As of late, one of our favorite sexual wellness brands has been Pepper Essentials. It has a massage candle that’s amazing for foreplay massages and a water-based lube that’s safe with most toys. Also a mind-blowing Pepper product? Its massage wand! “This looks like a nice vibe,” says Queen. “I especially like the touch sensor function, which many others don’t have.”

The touch-sensor function makes this wand extremely easy to use, as it just takes a swipe of a finger to increase or decrease the vibe’s speed. Additionally, this silicone massage wand has six pulse patterns and three speeds. There’s also a high-tech touch sensor that powers off the toy when it’s no longer making body contact. As a result, there’s a slight delay, which is meant to prevent it from accidentally powering on, but once it’s going… oh, boy!

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Le Wand, Petite Mini Rechargeable Massage Wand Vibrator — $145.00

If you’d rather not have people hearing your self-care sessions, this is the vibe Luquin recommends. “It’s the most popular one with great reviews,” she says. “It looks like your typical body-wand massager with a head and a handle, which makes it easier on your hands and simpler to maneuver,” says Luquin. However, Queen adds that since this wand vibrator is smaller and quieter, it’s less strong than other vibes on this list.

The Le Wand Petite is available in four metallic colors, including rose gold, dark cherry, blue, and violet. It features six pulsation patterns, which you control via the middle button, as well as 10 vibration intensities, which you can increase or decrease with the top and bottom buttons respectively. This sex wand is made of body-safe silicone and is about 10 inches long. It’s also shower-friendly and rechargeable, taking two hours to charge to deliver a full hour of usage.

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Lelo, Smart Wand 2 — $199.00

Blue lists this gorgeous sex wand as one of her favorites, and it’s not hard to see why. Of course, it’s aesthetically pleasing, but it’s also very efficient, adds Luquin. ”Lelo’s Smart Wand 2 features a more curved design for the handle, which is great because you don’t have to do too much maneuvering of your wrist or elbow,” Luquin says.

In addition to its ergonomic nature, the Smart Wand’s interface is easy to use as it has only three buttons: two to increase and decrease the speed and one to change the mode, of which the wand has 10. It’s made of body-safe silicone that feels smooth all over your body. The most stand-out feature of this toy, though, is that it offers up to four hours of pleasure on just one charge.

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Lovehoney X Love Not War, Koi Sustainable Rechargeable Wand Vibrator — $66.00

O’Reilly says that this particular vibe is the best “all-around best pick that’s silky smooth, powerful, cordless, and a sustainable option.” It’s easy to see her point, considering that this vibe is made of body-safe silicone and features four speeds as well as six vibration patterns accessible through a single button.

Since it’s cordless, you’ll have to charge this vibe, which takes about an hour for the same amount of usage time. At only 5.5 inches, you might think this little guy doesn’t offer as much oomph as bigger models, but a reviewer—who calls this sex wand “small but mighty”—asks you to reconsider: “Really easy to use and I love how cute and compact it is. Vibration is also quite strong on the highest setting which I wasn’t expecting for such a small wand.”

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Bellesa Boutique, Demi Wand — $69.00

The Demi Wand is the product of a collaboration between sex toy retailer Bellesa Boutique and superstar Demi Lovato. It’s the definition of no-nonsense. For instance, where other sex wands use patterns, the Demi Wand only offers eight vibration modes, which you activate with the button at the bottom of the toy.

It’s also very discreet (in appearance and sound) since it’s only about five inches long. Unlike other rechargeable models, the Demi Wand comes with a non-descript charging case (kinda looks like a sunglasses case, tbh), that charges the vibe when it’s not in use. Like other models, though, this is made of body-safe silicone and is also waterproof.

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Dame, Com — $89.00

“I love the flexibility of this wand, which helps to get better angles,” says Blue. From looking at a demo, it’s evident that this wand bends any way you need it to. “I also like that it has a travel mode feature on it to prevent your carry-on from unexpectedly during a flight,” Blue adds.

Dame’s powerful massage wand uses medical-grade silicone and is waterproof. It also features five intensity levels and the same amount of patterns, which allows you to mix and match rumbles to find what feels best for you. It’s about 10.5 inches long, making it a larger toy. That said, though, its size offers powerful and pleasurable vibrations. If you’re hoping to get an hour of usage, keep in mind that you’ll need to charge this vibe for 2.5 hours.

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Palm Power, Pocket Massager — $60.00

This rechargeable sex wand’s name comes from the fact that it literally fits in your palm. It’s teeny-tiny, kind of like a bullet vibrator, but it’s got that ball-shaped head that’s a staple for massage wands. “This would be great for folks who are just starting their toy collection, as it’s compact and thus may not feel too intimidating,” says Blue.

That said, Blue caveats that this may not be the best option for you if you’re searching for more intense vibrations. Other than that, there are some pretty impressive specs for the Palm Power Pocket Massager. For example, its silicone head is totally removable and it only features one button, which makes it easy to use. There aren’t any patterns, but there are multiple speeds to this water-resistant toy.

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We-Vibe, Rave — $119.00

According to Blue, the We-Vibe Rave is also a wonderful option for “beginners because of its dual-purpose functionality,” she says. “The Rave can be used for external stimulation as well as for penetration, although I would caution against using it for anal penetration.” The We-Vibe Rave is also one of the more high-tech wands as it can be controlled through an app—making it perfect for “partnered play, especially for those in long-distance relationships,” says Blue.

This toy is made of body-safe silicone and features 10 vibration modes, which you can go into or out of with the touch of the button in the middle. You can also make it go slower or faster with the up and down arrows on either side of the middle button. With the We-Vibe Rave, you can get up to two hours of fun from a 90-minute charge.

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Unbound Babes, Ollie — $76.00

This 12-inch massage wand boasts eight speeds and vibration patterns as well as waterproof status—you can submerge it in 3-foot-deep water for a whole half-hour. “I like this toy because it’s a good size and pretty easy to use to stimulate yourself sexually but to also massage your back,” says Luquin. “It’s the definition of multipurpose.”

If you have other Unbound toys, rest assured that the charger for that will also work with the Ollie, since it’s universal. It takes about an hour to fully charge and gives you an hour of play thereafter. The head of this toy is about 3.5 inches long and almost seven inches in circumference, so it covers a lot at once. Whether you’re looking for a “new bathtime buddy or post-workout massager,” you can’t go wrong with the Ollie. (Their words!)

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Doxy, Number 3 Die Cast Massager — $229.00

As a sexologist with decades of experience, Queen says this is her favorite massager. “First of all, it’s super gorgeous,” says Queen. “These are clad in metal, [aluminum and titanium], not plastic, have silicone heads, are corded, and are especially rumbly,” she adds.

She likens it to the Original Magic Wands and notes that you can actually bring this one on international travels. The Doxy Number 3 is similar to the Magic Wand because it’s extremely powerful, reaching up to 9,000 revolutions per minute. The plug-in cord is 12 feet long, so you have a bit of space to work with if necessary. If you’re looking for an uber-powerful massage wand, we suggest adding this one to your cart.

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FemmeFunn, Ultra Wand — $75.00

One of the first things that struck me about The FemmeFunn Ultra Wand is that its silicone surface is textured all over. “It is so cool-looking, with a patterned exterior that doubles as a grip assist,” says Queen. “It’s petite, rechargeable, and waterproof,” she adds.

This model is available in three different colors—purple, turquoise, and pink—and offers 10 different vibrations. It’s about 8.25 inches long and the head measures almost two inches in diameter. Sure, it’s a smaller model, but what it lacks in size it makes up for in flexibility. It’s easy to use, considering that you only need to press one button in order to find what feels good for you.

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CalExotics, Naughty Bits WILF — $98.00

The Naughty Bits WILF—and, yes, that stands for “wand I’d like to f*ck”—is a beautifully patterned massager made out of body-safe silicone. As you might recall, not all sex wands are meant for internal use. That said, if you were going to try it with one, this would be a great option. “I know someone somewhere has flipped the wand over to explore the handle’s erotic possibilities,” says Queen.

This rechargeable vibe has 10 functions “of intense vibration, pulsation, and escalation,” per the product’s page. With a full charge, which takes about 2.5 hours, you get up to three hours of pleasure. It’s similar in size to The FemmeFunn Ultra Wand—coming in at 8.5 length and about two inches in diameter. Plus, it’s also waterproof!

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Gender X, The Sunflower — $80.00

According to Queen, “The Sunflower is a very modern take on the wand vibe. It vibrates at both ends, has multiple functions, is mid-range strong—for those who find the powerhouse wands to be a bit much—and its head is textured for varying sensation.”

One look at the waterproof The Sunflower is all you need to know it stands out from the pack exactly because of its new-age design. Instead of having a tennis-ball-like tip, The Sunflower features a ribbed head for different sensations throughout your body. But this sex wand doesn’t just look good; It also comes equipped with 10 vibrating speeds and functions, all customizable with the touch of the top button (for increasing speeds) or the bottom button (in case you want to slow it all down).

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Thankfully, we have Dame. Founded in 2014 by sexologist Alexandra Fine and MIT engineer Janet Liberman, the Brooklyn-based sexual wellness brand designs approachable (and chic) sex toys designed to close the pleasure gap. (Because even with all the sex toys on the market, there’s still a staggeringly real disparity between women’s pleasure during sexual activity versus men’s.)

Dame’s toys are simple, stunning, and most importantly, effective. No matter what you’re on the hunt for, Dame is a one-stop shop for orgasmic goodies, making finding your new sexy-time companion a walk in the park. But don’t take our word for it—here are the top six Dame sex toys that reviewers say are worth every penny.

Best Dame sex toys at a glance:

• Best for beginners: Dame Dip ($35)
• Best couples vibrator: Dame Eva II ($135)
• Best for G-spot stimulation: Dame Arc ($115)
• Best external vibrator: Dame Pom ($99)
• Best for suction sex toy: Dame Aer ($99)
• Best wand vibrator: Dame Com ($89)

More about Dame

Not only is Dame’s minimalist lineup of user-friendly sex toys refreshingly easy to navigate, it totally looks the part—with sleek silhouettes and soft colorways that you’ll be proud to display on your bedside table. And most importantly, the toys feel oh so good. Every gadget is developed in collaboration with the brand’s clinical board of physicians and is extensively researched through Dame Labs, Dame’s community hub of 10k+ real people who help ideate new products, foster safe discussions around intimacy and pleasure, and test prototypes. So it’s really no wonder why Dame sex toys have become a sexy-time staple for so many happy customers.

But which ones are worth adding to your shopping cart? Good question. If you’re looking to get in on the fun for yourself, do it with one of these toys below. Whether you’re buying your very first sex toy ever or are adding another gizmo to your extensive pleasure chest, customers say *these* are the toys worthy of your time and attention.

The best Dame sex toys, according to reviews

Best for beginners

Dame, Dip — $35.00

Approval rating: 4.2 stars

Colors: Periwinkle and Plum

For sex toy beginners who are just starting to experiment with what feels good in the bedroom, Dame’s best-seller, Dip, is a fail-proof basic vibrator that fuels erogenous exploration. Featuring a curved, flexible body made of 100-percent silicone, the multipurpose toy can be used both internally and externally for maximum pleasure. It’s also the quietest toy of the bunch, which means you can enjoy any of the five buzzy intensity levels without risking awkward eye contact with your roommates or neighbor the following morning (a convenient bonus.) What’s more, the vibe is fully waterproof, so you can take the party into the shower if you’re so inclined. Tl;Dr: The Dip is so well-loved by Dame shoppers that it’s currently sold out—but don’t worry, you can still pre-order it to ship when it comes back in stock.

What reviews say: “This is absolutely the BEST vibe Dame has come up with so far. The constant vibrations with five levels of pleasure creates an incredibly powerful orgasm. I am thrilled with its contoured tip. My action-packed pleasure puts this one in a league of its own. Discrete, quiet and my new bestie. [It’s] worth buying more than one!”

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Best for couples

Dame, Eva II — $135.00

Approval rating: 4.3 stars

Colors: Papaya (coral) and Ice (light blue)

If you’re looking to level-up sexy time with a partner, the Eva II is the sex toy for you. Fun fact: the Eva was the brand’s very first wearable couple’s vibrator, the first Dame product ever, and the most crowdfunded sex toy in history. A triple crown winner in customers hearts and vulvas alike.

The small but mighty clitoral vibrator is ingeniously designed to be worn comfortably in the vulva during sex—so you can set it and forget it (though it’s pretty unforgettable, if we’re honest). The tiny little arms keep it in place while you’re being intimate, so you can go hands-free and feel good doing it. The Eva II touts three intensity levels, is fully waterproof, and is made of the medical-grade silicone Dame uses for all of its toys. Needless to say, its *chef’s kiss*.

What reviews say: “Little Eva packs a big punch! I’ve only used her a couple of times, but every time I learn a new way to position to maximize her power. My husband likes it even more than me! Definitely worth the money!”

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Best for G-spot stimulation

Dame, Arc — $115.00

Approval rating: 4.6 stars

Colors: Plum and Ice (light blue)

Dame’s G-spot vibrator features an ergonomic, curved handle and a bulbed head to hit the right spots every. single. time. The bulb’s contoured ridge allows for more targeted pleasure on the vulva or clitoris, giving you the freedom to warm up externally before going for deeper G-spot stimulation. Equipped with a strong motor and five different intensity levels and patterns, the Arc puts in some serious work in the bedroom, and can last a full 1.5 hours (at highest settings) on a full charge, aka, you can enjoy its good vibrations for longer.

What reviews say: “Your G-spot’s best friend. Great vibrator, unique shape, and hits the spots that other vibrators only dream about. Lots of fun and I thought the vibrations levels were nice and strong.” 

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Best for external stimulation

Dame, Pom — $99.00

Approval rating: 4.7 stars

Colors: Plum and Ice (light blue)

With over 800 5-star reviews, the Dame Pom vibrator is a customer favorite for external stimulation. The compact, handheld silicone vibrator touts a squishy, pebble-like shape that hugs and bends in all of the right places, giving you full control in the “Pom” of your hand. Complete with five whisper-quiet vibration patterns and intensities, it gives you the flexibility to play your way, whether it’s in bed or in the shower (yep, it’s waterproof!).

What’s more, Dame shoppers love the Pom’s discreet design that travels well and looks super unassuming on your nightstand. And like all Dame sex toys, the Pom is USB-rechargeable, which means you can recharge your battery in a pinch from your laptop or any USB outlet for maximum convenience.

What reviews say: “This is an incredible product that has an amazing battery life, is easily charged, and maximizes comfort. If you are looking for something small and quiet but efficient I recommend this product!”

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Best suction toy

Dame, Aer — $99.00

Approval rating: 4.5 stars

Colors: Periwinkle and Papaya (coral)

The Dame Aer suction toy uses pressure wave technology to mimic the fluttery feelings of oral sex—and according to reviews, it really works. The compact, silicone sex toy creates a soft seal around the clitoris and delivers pulses of air in five different patterns and intensities, so you can work your way up to ultimate pleasure. Dame shoppers say it works like a charm for fast and reliable orgasms, though it could also be used at a low setting for a slow and steady build. Some shoppers say the Aer pairs well with other Dame sex toys for a mix of clitoral and internal stimulation. Plus it’s waterproof, so there’s basically no limit to the ways you can enjoy this small and sensual toy.

What reviews say: “Listen, I’ve never tried a toy of this design, shall we say, and let me tell you. The vibrations [are] 10/10. The vibe patterns themselves are exquisite. The quality is phenomenal. Since I’ve purchased it, I haven’t stopped using it and experimenting. And it never fails to get me there fast. If you were hesitant at first, just go for it. She’s amazing.”

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Best wand vibrator

Dame, Com — $89.00

Approval rating: 4.3 stars

Colors: Periwinkle and Quartz (light pink)

If you gave all the wand vibrators of yester-year a modern, ergonomic makeover, and you’d get the Dame Com. A tried and tested W+G favorite, the Com features user-friendly upgrades like a longer, curved handle and a flexible neck that make using it on all kinds of bodies a way more pleasurable experience. The large, bulbed head offers total coverage of the clitoris and vulva for full external stimulation, and can even be used to release tension elsewhere on the body, doubling as a personal massager.

Even more impressive? There’s no wires like some popular other wands that keep you tethered to an outlet. A quick plug of the USB cable will charge up its motor (the brand’s most powerful motor yet) that fuels five different toe-curling intensities and patterns. Is it the most unassuming and travel-friendly? No, it’s pretty large. But, if an earth-shattering orgasm is what your after, you’ll get it with the Com—a fair trade, in our opinion.

What reviews say: “Com was my first vibrator and I love it! I love the different power and patterns settings. I ended up buying another one on the site but I enjoy this one the best, mostly because of the curved handle and the fact that it is larger and focuses on the external areas. I have the most intense orgasms and am so happy. Super easy to charge, clean, and store away.”

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Among the sales, you can find some pretty snazzy deals. For example, Dame’s best-selling vibrators are 30 percent off, Good Vibrations is offering $30 off orders over $150, and Pink Cherry is offering a 30 percent off site-wide sale on clitoral stimulators, vibrating wands, strap-on sets, and more. Even Lovehoney is offering great deals with 50 percent off site-wide on any favorite item.

So, without further ado, check out these on-sale sex toys for Valentine’s Day that’ll transport you to pleasure island.

Dame, Eva Couples Vibrator — $95.00

Originally $135, now $95

Looking for ultimate clitoral stimulation? You can’t go wrong with Dame’s Eva Couples Vibrator. This egg-shaped vibrator has wings that function as a harness, strapping you and your partner in for a hands-free ride to pleasure island. Use code DAMELOVER for 30 percent off.

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Lelo, Sona 2 — $87.00

Originally $109, now $87

Prepare for your mind to be blown with Lelo’s Sona 2. This clitorial-suction machine features 12 settings, from low to high pulses and is 100 percent waterproof, so you can take all the fun to the bathroom or shower. Normally $109, the Sona 2 is on sale for 20 percent off. Hurry, though. Lelo products don’t stay stocked for long!

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Luna, Rechargeable Vibrator — $22.00

Originally $33, now $22

Looking for a no-frills vibrator that’s long lasting and gets the job done? Meet Luna. The microphone-shaped vibrator may seem loud, but it’s far from noisy…if you know what we mean. Featuring a powerful (yet quiet) motor, the Luna offers whisper-quiet vibrations in 20 patterns and intensities that’ll rock your world (literally and figuratively).

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Jimmy Jane, Starla+Tyro Vibrating Panty — $53.00

Originally $135, now $50

Jimmy Jane’s Starla and Tyro Vibrating Panty is perfect if you’re looking for something more discrete. What looks like a sheer and lace panty is actually a vibrating one. Slip the bullet-sized vibrator into the gusset, press the power button, and let the the underwear do its thing. Usually retailing for $135, this sexy panty is a whopping 63 percent off this Valentine’s Day.

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We Vibe, Nova 2 — $119.00

Originally $149, now $119

We Vibe’s Nova 2 will take your sexy time to new heights. Two-pronged, the Nova 2 offers internal and external thrills. It boasts a super flexible curvature that maneuvers with your body while the internal shaft sends pulses to your G spot or prostate. Feels so good, you won’t want to turn it off. Enter code LOVER30 to save $30 on orders over $150.

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Fun Factory, Oh Yeah, Right There Set — $180.00

Originally $210, now $180

If you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day with someone special, consider the Fun Factory set. This kit features two complementary toys—the Manta and Volta—that double the fun and play time. This dynamic duo offers targeted stimulation to your sensational parts, and for $30 off, you’ll get two toys for the price of one. Reap the discounts using code CUPID30.

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Pink Cherry, Rose Vibrator — $30.00

Originally $60, now $30

The Rose Vibrator looks as good as it feels. Bellowed in the silky flower petals is a suction tip that delivers seven pulsing suction modes for sweet sensations and orgasms. All you have to do is press the button. Your erogenous zones will thank you. The code LOVE will get you 30 percent off, site-wide.

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Lovehoney, Vibrating Butt Plug — $25.00

Originally $50, now $25

Code VDAY50 will save you 50 percent off on any one item on Lovehoney’s website, including this vibrating butt plug. Featuring 10 patterns and six speeds, this tush plug will shake things up in the bed, shower, or wherever fun takes your next.

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Seriously, there’s a lot going on: hands-free toys, rabbit vibes, grinding vibrators, suction toys, and even options that look (and wear) like jewelry. Thankfully, though, Amazon sells one of the best vibrators around—the Luna Personal Wand Massager ($22). The best-selling vibrator (it’s the best-selling wand vibrator and seventh top-selling toy overall in the category) comes highly rated by thousands—sex toy beginners and connoisseurs alike—and touts a whopping *15,000* 5-star reviews. And even better? It’s currently on sale for 33-percent off until February 14, just in time for Valentine’s Day.

Luna, Personal Wand Massager — $22.00

Originally $33, now $22 

Meet the rechargeable vibrating wand that has over 15,000 Amazon shoppers swooning.

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Perfect for solo and partnered play, the Luna Personal Massager gives the classic vibrating wand design a well-deserved, modern makeover. For starters, it only weighs 6 ounces—meaning it’s incredibly lightweight and compact, making it an easy add to your bedside drawer or carry-on while traveling. And unlike the vibrating wands of yesteryear, it’s made of a medical-grade silicone that’s easy to clean and fully waterproof, so the rumbling, pleasurable vibrations aren’t limited to the bedroom. The Luna wand’s flexible head can even bend up to 50 degrees, and is outfitted with subtle contours for added stimulation during sexy time.

Another major pro to the Luna Personal Massager: the thing has range. It features an impressive 20 vibrating patterns and eight speeds, allowing you to build up from soft trembling vibes to powerful rumbles that’ll blow your mind, according to reviews. “This thing is amazing,” wrote one happy Amazon shopper in a 5-star review. “I have had it for two years now and it’s still making me weak in the knees.” And no matter which speed or pattern you choose, you can count on the Luna to stay whisper quiet through it all. Plus, the vibrating wand has an intuitive memory that saves your pattern and speed allowing you to pick up right where you left off on your last use—so lightning, can in fact, strike twice.

And did we mention that the Luna massager is rechargeable? So you’ll never have to fuss with outdated corded wands ever again. It arrives on your doorstep with a full charge that’s ready to go, and boasts a 2+ hour battery life (though it’ll likely take you far less time to do the deed). And powering it up is as easy as plugging it into any USB-outlet, which means you can charge it pretty much anywhere.

So yeah, it’s no wonder why Amazon shoppers are buzzing about this game-changing wand. We think one very satisfied Amazon shopper said it best: “Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, did not invest in this vibrator let me tell me you.” And what better time to invest than while it’s majorly discounted? Order yours on Amazon here.

To get off on the right note, it’s essential to communicate with a sexual partner first and foremost about what it is you’re planning to do, and how you’re planning to do it, especially if advanced sex positions are going to be involved.

“Sex is such a dynamic event, especially when you’re experimenting with new positions.” —Christie Cobb, MD

“The key is that this is an ongoing conversation,” says gynecologist and sexual wellness expert Christie Cobb, MD. “Sex is such a dynamic event, especially when you’re experimenting with new positions. All partners should be able to convey what they’re enjoying, what doesn’t bring pleasure, and how they’re willing to adjust, as sex happens,” she says. And that fluidity encompasses consent, too, which can be given or revoked at any point of a sexual encounter—position aside.

In that vein, moving slowly into new sex positions can also help reduce the risk of an accident or injury, says sexologist Jess O’Reilly, PhD, host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. “Take a moment to make sure it feels good for all involved parties before increasing speed, depth, or intensity of movement,” she says. To adequately prep your mind and body for any advanced sex positions (or, for that matter, any partnered sex positions at all), you can also employ Dr. Cobb’s B.A.R.E. checklist. This acronym stands for “bowels and bladder” (empty both beforehand), “adequate time” (get warmed up with outerplay before penetration), “rested” (ensure no involved person is over-tired before diving in), and “expectations” (share your goals as part of your pre-sex communication).

Once you’ve nailed the above, read on for expert advice on how to ace a few of the most unique, creative, and advanced sex positions out there.

How To Do 5 Advanced Sex Positions Without Risking (Undesired) Physical Pain

1. Sitting 69

Even a quote-unquote regular 69 (a position where one partner lays on top of the other, so both can orally pleasure each other) is more advanced than you might assume, says sexologist Rebecca Alvarez Story, founder of the intimacy marketplace Bloomi. “It requires knowing your partner’s pleasure cues and being able to relax while you give oral, which can be tricky,” she says.

Looking for a more physiologically advanced version? This seated 69 position, adapted from Kama Sutra (a Sanskrit text on sexuality and intimacy) takes things up a notch. While the actual version involves one person positioned fully upside-down in a handstand, with their legs hugging either side of their partner’s head, this adaptation is basically the same thing but with one partner sitting in a chair—so, there’s much less risk of falling headfirst into the ground. “Make sure you avoid hardwood floors, and that the sitting partner has a good grasp of the other partner’s waist or hips,” says Story.

2. Reverse Cow-Rider

Just like it sounds, this position involves a person with a vagina riding on top of a person with a penis, but in a reverse direction—that is, facing away from, rather than toward the person with a penis. And the danger inherent to this pose is more penis-related than anything else: The partner with a vagina can “miss” and sit their pelvic bone on the head of the penis, which could cause penile trauma or fracture, says Dr. O’Reilly. “The upper partner may also lean too far forward in a way that bends the penis,” she adds.

As for how to avoid that situation? You’ll want to go heavier on the lube for this one to ensure the smoothest possible penetrative glide, and when you’re getting started, try carefully guiding entry with your hands, says Dr. O’Reilly. Slower movements will also help keep the penis from going rogue.

Bloomi: Smooth Water-Based Personal Lubricant

Bloomi: Smooth Water-Based Personal Lubricant — $15.00

Use plenty of this water-based lube to make it easier to get into these different advanced sex positions.

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3. Ballet Dancer (aka Three-Legged Dog)

Any standing sex position can fall into the category of advanced, just because of the necessity of having some balance to keep from tipping over. This one, which is derived from the Kama Sutra position of Tripadam, has the vagina-haver standing on one leg, while wrapping the other around the hip of the person with a penis. Once you’re bound together by p-in-v penetration, though, there’s a risk of one person losing their footing and bringing the other person down with them.

To steer clear of a timber situation, one partner can lean their body against a wall or hold onto a piece of furniture with one hand for support (while continuing to hold their partner with the other), says Dr. O’Reilly.

And remember that this position won’t work if there is a major height difference, so the shorter partner should stand on something stable and sturdy to get closer to the taller partner.

4. Indrani

This position from Kama Sutra involves some serious hip flexion—but can bring intense stimulation in return, if you go at it with care. The vagina-haver brings their knees to their chest, essentially opening up their body for penetration by a partner who kneels in front of them. “I like recommending this position to couples who like G-spot, P-spot, or deep stimulation,” says Story. “But the depth of the penetration could quickly become too deep and uncomfortable,” she says. Partners should check in with each other very often while doing this position to make sure there’s no discomfort.

To manage both the depth of that penetration and the amount of flexion happening at the hips, the vagina-haver could slot a sex pillow (like Dame’s Pillo) under their bottom, shifting the angle to a less severe one, says Story.

Dame: Pillo Pillow

Dame: Pillo Pillow — $95.00

Use this comfortable but supportive pillow as an extra means of bolstering your activities.

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5. Missionary Split

This advanced spin on an old standby does double duty as a stretch and a sex position. (Remember that note above about doing some circulation-boosting outerplay before you dive into these?) The vagina-haver will lift one leg up over the penis-haver’s shoulder while lying down, allowing for deeper penetration.

Because of the intense stretch, however, this position could very well prompt a leg cramp. While getting sufficiently warmed up beforehand (and, heck, even doing some stretching, if time allows) can make it more comfortable, you can also turn to outside support. “A thigh sling can help hold one or both legs up to decrease the amount of effort required for you to fight gravity,” says Dr. Cobb, who also recommends a sex pillow under the pelvis of the person lying down to make the angle easier to achieve.

Once you get into any of the above positions, though, it’s best not to stick around for too long, says Dr. O’Reilly. “I’d suggest making small adjustments to your positions every minute or two so that you don’t cramp up from repetitive motion,” she says. Keep checking in with your partner too as you move into various sex positions.

And, again, continue to check in with your partner on how they’re feeling once you’re both situated—because thinking something would be fun to try and actually having fun doing it can be different things. “There’s no need to try acrobatic positions if they don’t feel comfortable,” says Dr. O’Reilly. “Listen to your body, and prioritize pleasure, not a particular performance.”

Whether your head, hips, or hamstrings need a little lovin’ in the bedroom, these coquettish cushions will do the trick.

What are sex pillows?

Unlike your regular ol’ down pillow, sex pillows are designed to give you more cushion for the pushin’. Taylor Sparks, an erotic educator and founder of the organic intimacy shop, Organic Loven, explains that they’re usually made of thicker materials and designed in different angles and heights so that you can elevate parts of your body (hips, legs, chest) for more comfortable or deeper sexual positions. “Your standard bed pillow is designed to only hold the weight of your head, not your ass and his/her ass and ‘Karen’s’ ass too!” Sparks says. “Sex pillows gives the giver (top) the opportunity to do more with their hands in ways of pleasing the receiver (bottom) because they no longer have to focus on holding or supporting their partners legs or ass.”

Especially for those who struggle with mobility, these pleasurable pillows can be a game-changer in the sack. “I have clients who don’t have the use of the lower half of their bodies, preventing them from ‘pushing back’ against their lovers during sex or the ability to hold their hips up to receive,” Sparks says. ” The use of the Liberator’s sex pillows give them the angles and comfort to be able to enjoy deep penetrative sex or oral sex in a manner that is comfortable for them.”

Elevating the hips during Missionary, giving the neck some support during 69, splaying the knees whilst spooning—the possibilities for these sexy accessories are virtually endless. “Doggy becomes ‘Delicious Doggy’ because the hips are prone high up and the head’s face down as the pillow maintains this comfortable position… and we don’t have to worry about ending up flat on the bed and constantly repositioning ourselves,” she says. “The Cowgirl and Reverse Cowgirl takes on new heights as your partner’s hips are now angled up making the ‘ride’ easier on the hips and knees of the rider.”  We could only imagine what John Mayer would do if he had a sex pillow while writing “Your Body Is a Wonderland.” But our wildest fantasies can become reality with the help of these orgasmic bolsters. Scroll to shop the best ones below.

Can you use a regular pillow for sex?

“If you aren’t sure if a sex position pillow is worth the investment, you can experiment by using some regular pillows,” says Isabelle Uren, a Certified Sex Expert. “Just bear in mind that a purpose made sex position pillow is going to a whole lot better due to the higher density adding more support.”

Regardless if you’re using a regular or sex pillow, they’re going to into contact with a lot of bodily fluids, so it’s important to keep them clean. “Look for a sex pillow with a removable, machine washable cover,” says Uren. And importantly, don’t be afraid to get creative and have fun!

The best sex pillows for more comfortable, accessible sex

Kӧlbs, Bed Wedge Pillow — $42.00

Now, this pillow is advertised for aiding with heartburn and sleep apnea, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get creative. The sprawling wedge shape of this thing is perfect for sore backs and necks that are craving some TLC come sexy time. Or, shove it under your butt to get those hips high and knees spread—don’t be afraid to use your imagination.

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Liberator, Jaz — $85.00

Originally $100, now $85

True to its name, Liberator’s Jaz pillow is ideal for jazzing things up with your partner. Sparks loves it for all sorts of positions, solo or together. Plus, it comes in six elegant microsuedes that match any decor and are simple enough to leave out on the bed without screaming “I’M A SEX PILLOW.”

 

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Dominix, Deluxe Sex Position Wedge — $85.00

This stunning sex pillow belongs in everyone’s bedroom (or living room, wherever you get down and dirty). Lie on the large, elevated wedge to lift your hips for deeper, more precise penetration that doesn’t kill your lower back. The velvety exterior reduces slippage plus there are two loops for adding your favorite handcuffs or just hanging on.

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Liberator, Wedge Ramp Combo — $238.00

Originally $280, now $238

Splurging has never been so sexy. This wedge/ramp combo blends the best of both worlds for an orgasmic experience no matter how you use it. Some ideas: longer, more comfortable oral, minus the sore neck. Elevated access from behind without killing your knees. Higher hips during missionary. It’s available in three different sizes and five colors, so you’re sure to find your perfect match.

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Liberator BonBon Pillow — $93.00

Originally $110, now $93

The Liberator BonBon is a versatile sex pillow that can be used with a partner or solo, depending on your mood. “It has a pocket to hold your favorite dildo or vibrator, so you can ride your toys hands-free. Not only does this leave your hands free for other fun, but many people find that rocking their hips intensifies their pleasure,” says Uren.

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Liberator, Humphrey Toy Mount Sex Pillow — $136.00

Originally $160, now $136 

This Liberator sex pillow features a plush, supportive core that can comfortably support two bodies, or be used alone for solo play. The built-in toy mount can hold dildos, wands, bullets, and vibrators of all shapes and sizes (with or without a flared base) for hands-free sexy time. Even better, the microfiber case is non-slip and can easily be removed and cleaned in your washing machine.

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Liberator, Heart Wedge Sex Pillow — $105.00

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, this heart-shaped sex pillow by Liberator is bound to spice things up in the bedroom. The wedged design props hips at the optimal angle allowing for deeper penetration and g-spot stimulation during penetrative sex. Plus, it’s covered in a soft, velvet-like material that feels good on skin. Who knows, it might even pass as a purely “decorative” pillow thanks to the cute heart shape!

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Adam and Eve, Inflatable Pillow — $13.00

Another inflatable pick, this Adam and Eve pillow supports multiple positions. It has a soft, velvety surface and grip handles if you need them during a particularly active session.

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Misstu, Half Moon Pillow Toy Mount — $14.00

Get twice the action with this affordable pillow from Misstu. Your G-spot will love the way it lifts your pelvis to achieve deeper, fuller penetration from behind. But wait, there’s more! Look closely and you’ll see a little hole in the center—that’s for your toys. During solo time, shove in your favorite dildo or vibrator and enjoy the ride.

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Prosixtoy, Inflatable Sex Cushion — $18.00

This inflatable sex pillow has a versatile triangular shape that gives hips a lift for optimal stimulation in countless positions. What’s more, it’s covered with a velvety soft, non-slip material that wipes clean with the help of warm water. Even more convenient though, is how easy the pillow is to inflate according to reviews.

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Misstu, Inflatable Bolster Roll — $14.00

Same concept, different shape. Next time you’re enjoying doggy or are laying prone, lay your hips over its soft, rounded shape. The inflatable design allows you to adjust firmness to your desire. And it’s discreet enough to pass as a body pillow when it’s not being scandalized.

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Liberator, Black Label — $265.00

Whether you’re a bondage buff or are just dipping your toes into BDSM, Liberator’s Black Label pillow will show you a good time. “The Black Label line comes with easily attachable wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs and a blindfold to introduce a little light bondage to your play time,” says Sparks. “The larger ramp offers a height of 10-14 inches and is suitable for all bodies. This is large and comfortable enough for off the bed.” 

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Liberator, Pulse Sex Toy Mount — $95.00

The Pulse sex cushion has an ergonomic, curved design that allows it to move with your body, simulating the rocking motions of sex, solo and with a partner. It has two separate pockets that can hold vibrators and dildos separately for clitoral and penetrative stimulation at the same time. And it can even be turned upside down to give your hips or your head a lift during sex with a partner.

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Dame, Pillo — $95.00

Editor-approved Pillo is all about angles. The soft foam cushion is supportive enough to lift your body parts but still plush enough to keep you comfy when things get hot and heavy. The grabbable handles and machine washable cover definitely don’t hurt either.

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Over the course of a few weeks, I took each of the heads for a spin (no pun intended.) I dedicated a whole day to each attachment, using most for solo play but also one during partnered sex. Since the toy is labeled as waterproof, I even used an attachment in the shower.

Scroll for my full take on the Satisfyer Marvelous Four, which really is marvelous.

First impressions of the Marvelous Four

The Satisfyer Marvelous Four arrived in a light-green box with the four pastel-colored attachments photographed on the exterior and neatly lined up next to each other inside. There’s a pink air pulse simulator (aka, a clitoral suction toy), a light-blue rabbit vibrator, a pink wand vibrator, and a yellow traditional vibrator that’s anal friendly.

Satisfyer, Marvelous Four — $101.00

Each toy comes with four interchangeable attachments, including an air pulse simulator, wand massager, rabbit vibrator, and traditional vibrator.

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Each attachment is super lightweight and exceptionally soft to the touch, thanks to their safe, silicone bodies—which are so smooth that I can only describe them as “buttery.” Moreover, it was quite simple for me to interchange the heads, which I did by inserting each into the powered base and then rotating it 90 degrees, clicking it into to get a secure handle on it.

Speaking of the vibrator’s base, it’s important to note that this is the toy’s battery, but not the motor. Instead, the motor lives inside each of the individual attachments. “Targeted, strong vibrations are pre-programmed, always exactly where you need them,” says the product page. “You have a total of 12 vibration programs at your disposal, [but] the pressure wave vibrator has 11 different intensities.” To power it on, simply hold down the plus-sign button for a few seconds. You can increase or decrease the intensity through the plus-sign and minus-sign buttons, respectively.

I appreciate that the Marvelous Four’s packaging recommends using each attachment in 3-5 different positions, a reminder to explore and figure out what feels right for you. For example, it suggests inserting the rabbit vibrator from behind. (You can find that info on the left side of the box.)

And now, a closer look at my experience with each of the four attachments, starting with the air pulse simulator.

Air pulse simulator

Remember when I said I used one of these bad boys in the shower? A few days after receiving the Marvelous Four, I tested the clitoral suction head under those conditions to make sure it was, in fact, waterproof. To my delight, it passed the inspection.

I’m a big fan of clitoral stimulation and clitoral orgasms, so that’s why I opted to go with this first. Something to note: the clitoral head is almost 1-inch down the shaft of the toy, which made it kind of hard for me to find my groove. I had to use my left hand to bring my clitoris out a little more, but that became a bit easier and more pleasurable as I went. (Which makes sense, considering the clitoris enlarges when you’re aroused.) Other than this, the sensation is quite enjoyable and orgasmic in every sense.

Rabbit vibrator

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the rabbit component of the Marvelous Four is a six-time Olympic gold medalist in gymnastics. The flexibility! When I used this head, I was able to stimulate my clitoris pretty much from any angle. The rabbit “ears” bend any which way—including a full 180 degrees, should you ever need that.

When I used this attachment, I started with just the rabbit portion, which initially provided a moderate vibration before getting more intense. Then, after applying a little bit of water-based lube on the toy, I inserted its 6-inch shaft into my vagina. It’s a bit on the smaller side in terms of circumference, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Despite its lack of girth, it’s still quite powerful, especially as it works in tandem with the rabbit.

Wand massager

About six months ago, I did a week-long masturbation experiment, and a certified sex therapist advised me to be extra mindful of, “what different touches to the different parts of the body do for you.” I thought this massager offered the perfect opportunity to do just that. I’d not tried a massager as a sex toy before, even though I had used it as an actual massager.

When I first clipped on this head, it struck me how comparatively small it was to other wand vibrators in my (sex) toy chest. It measures about five inches from the tip to the attachable base, and the diameter of the tip is about 1.5 inches. Don’t be fooled by its petite form, though. The massage head is the paragon of, “tiny but mighty.”

I started the massager on my neck before running it down my chest and holding it just close enough so it was only slightly touching the top of my nipples. I highly recommend taking this approach as it provides stimulation in other parts of the body that may be neglected. The initial vibration is also soft, but as I increased it, I could feel the dissolution of some of the small knots on my neck. This light-purple attachment is also a power player when it comes to clitoral orgasms, which gets it an A in my book.

Vibrator

Though the Marvelous Four’s vibrator attachment is anal friendly, I did not use it as an anal toy because it seemed a little too large for my personal taste. It also has a slight curve, which was great for vaginal insertion but, again, too intimidating for me to try in my butt.

I used the light-yellow vibrator during partnered sex, where my beau first used it to stimulate my nipples before heading south to my clitoris. This was all pleasurable, and the lower vibrations were mild enough to offer a bit of teasing instead of full-on pleasure on both of the aforementioned areas.

Eventually, my partner inserted the vibrator in my vagina and I could feel the intensifying vibrations from within. Since this doesn’t have the rabbit portion, there wasn’t much for my clitoris, but it still felt really good. Combined with my own hand, it felt amazing.

Final thoughts

There really isn’t much not to like about the Satisfyer Marvelous Four, so I have to be nit-picky. My one complaint is that it doesn’t come with any type of storage for the vibrators, so you’ll need to purchase something if you want to take them out the box. Seriously, though, that’s extremely minor.

All of that said, for $100, I don’t think we’re going to get a better bargain. All attachments are soft, aesthetically and physically pleasing, and easy-to-clean with soap and water or sex toy cleaners. Each attachment is more orgasmic than the last. The Marvelous Four is as marvelous as its name suggests, and considering it’s technically four vibrators in one, I can’t think of a better, more bang-for-your-buck deal.

Maude Vibe Personal Massager — $37.00

Well+Good readers can get 15% off right now with the code wgsexed.

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Not only is the vibrator able to reliably deliver orgasms, but it also packs a potent pleasure punch in a small, nondescript package. It looks unassuming, it doesn’t take up too much space, and it has a style that’s charmingly blank-slate. And that appearance is intentional and makes it more accessible.

Inspired by modernist design movements like Bauhaus, Maude founder and CEO Éva Goicochea sought to create a product with “equal measures of form and function,” she says. “I wanted to create a line that de-stigmatized the category through quality, simplicity, and inclusivity,” The result? Muted gender-nonspecific colors (Vibe comes in gray, cream, and moss green) and simple shapes. That aesthetic neutrality helps de-gender Vibe, which is important when it comes to making sexual wellness inclusive for people of all bodies.

“The vibe was inspired by Brâncuși’s sculptures, and the lightbulb for the shape went off when I visited MoMA, as I wanted something that was ergonomic and universal,” Goicochea says. “Material was an important choice in completing the design—the soft-touch silicone material bends to the body and is smooth against the skin. As I’m married to a mechanical engineer, he was able to help me design and bring the product to life.” It’s also 100 percent platinum-grade silicone, which makes it body-safe.

How to use

The vibrator is delivered in travel mode. To activate upon delivery, simply hold the button down for three seconds and wait for high-speed vibrations: the device should vibrate twice. Small, squishy at the top, Maude’s only button controls three vibration settings, and that simplicity is welcomed, especially if you’re a beginner, or looking for something with no frills. When you test out vibrators on a regular basis, you realize how difficult they can be to simply turn on and operate, and Vibe is a reprieve.

How to charge Maude

Plug the charging cable into a USB wall-friendly adapter or power accessory for no less than one and a half to two hours of charging, and you’ll be ready for action. The brand recommends charging your device after every use to make the most out of your sexy time. 

Maude Vibe vs. Drop

Unlike the Drop ($45)—which is rounder in shape—the vibe is slightly taller and less discrete compared to the drop. Other than shape and size, both devices are relatively similar, both taking roughly two hours to fully charge, have three-speed vibration, are made of 100 percent platinum-grade silicone, and are free of phthalates and latex. Also nice? Both devices are water resistant.

Here’s what makes the Maude Vibe an artful delight

In terms of experience, Vibe’s three settings are strong but not overpowering, rumbly but not jangly. They transition seamlessly between each level and feel, well, heavenly. The triangular-tip design of the toy is essentially optimized for clitoral stimulation, which is great news for vulva-owners. (Remember, the fastest way to orgasm is usually through clitoral stimulation, and Vibe’s squishy tip can send all the right ripples to that spot.) But, that tip is also great for drawing circles around erogenous zones, like your nipples, or letting everything build at wonderful pace, like inching up a roller-coaster.

To wit: Vibe is the perfect beginner vibrator if you’re unfamiliar with or intimidated by sex toys, because it’s straightforward, created to focus on your most sensitive spot, and also notably affordable compared to other chic models on the market. But it’s also a great selection for someone very familiar with vibrators and exhausted by all the complex features many toys use.

Ultimately, Vibe is such a gem that it doesn’t need any hyperbolic votes of confidence or stamps of approval. Like its minimalist, artistic design, it’s just great—no less, no more. And don’t forget, you can snag it right now for 15% off with the code wgsexed.

“Gone are the days where we’re going to see more products in pink and blue, for women or men,” Bloomi CEO Rebecca Alvarez Story previously told Well+Good. “The whole concept of full-body pleasure is something that more big box retailers will lean into as well.”

Before diving into the new year (and all of the groundbreaking adult toys it’s bound to reveal) , take a walk down memory lane with us as we look back on the best sex toys of 2022. Amongst a sea of different vibrators, suckers, and thrusters, these 8 adult goodies rose above the competition– and took our climaxes to new heights.

8 best sex toys we couldn’t get enough of in 2022

1. Magic Wand Mini

A mini version of the iconic Magic Wand massager debuted this year, and naturally, we couldn’t keep our hands off of it. The Magic Wand, formerly known as the Hitatchi Wand, is world famous for its large, bulbous head and deep rumbling vibrations. Unlike its bigger, older sibling, the Magic Wand Mini is completely portable and wire-free, making it a great travel companion.

Well+Good reporter Gabrielle Kassel sang the Magic Wand Mini’s praises in her June product review. Despite a slight decrease in vibration power (6,300 RPM vs. 6,000 RPM), Kassel says that the Mini helped her achieve a faster “O” than the original Magic Wand. “Small, high-intensity, and outfitted with intuitive buttons, this vibrator has many of the features I look for in a wand vibrator,” says Kassel.

Magic Wand Mini — $76.00

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2. WeVibe Chorus

Whether you’re indulging in ‘me time’ or playing with a partner, the WeVibe Chorus aims to please. The Chorus is a hands-free, multi-use vibrating toy that can be used as a clitoral massager, a stroker, or a G-spot stimulator.

This toy is a great companion for couples, as it can be worn inside the vagina during intercourse, heightening sensations for both partners. It’s waterproof, rechargeable, and can be controlled via app or remote, allowing for discreet, sneaky fun.

WeVibe Chorus — $199.00

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3. Ohnut Vibrating Ring

The revolutionary Ohnut Vibrating Ring is both a toe-curling sex toy AND a comfort aid. This soft, stretchy vibrating ring can be stacked with Ohnut Buffer Rings to provide a soft cushion between the vaginal opening and sizable penises or toys. The buffer lets users decide just how deep they’d like to be penetrated, while the rumbly vibrator adds direct clitoral stimulation.

This handy device further proved to us that there’s nothing sexier than comfort.

Ohnut Vibrating Ring — $50.00

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4. Womanizer Starlet 2

For those uninitiated, the famous and top-rated Womanizer uses short bursts of air to tease the clitoris rather than vibrations, resulting in super-powerful orgasms. The Womanizer Starlet 2 is the latest-and-greatest iteration of the Womanizer Starlet, the petite version of the OG Womanizer. Its soft silicone head perfectly wraps around the clitoris, providing direct stimulation to its 8,000 nerve endings.

There’s a reason why this toy made our list of editor-approved sleep products; one earth-shattering orgasm with the Womanizer Starlet 2, and it’s lights out.

Womanizer Starlet 2 — $79.00

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5. Lelo Dot

The beautiful Lelo Dot is part modern art sculpture, part multifunction luxury vibrator. It’s as innovative as it looks: the wavy teardrop shape allows you to precisely pinpoint small, specific areas of your anatomy (around the clitoris or along the frenulum, for example). The inch-thick hole at its center acts as a handle, allowing you to grip and grind to your preferences.

Kassel reports that its sharp tip can simulate the tongue-flicking sensations of oral play when handled correctly (yum!).

Lelo Dot — $179.00

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6. JimmyJane Ascend 3

A sharp deviation from the art-like shape of Lelo Dot is the JimmyJane Ascend 3. This 7-mode handheld vibrator proves that when it comes to shape, sometimes simplicity is the spice of life. Its thin, flexible oval shape expertly fits to the contours of the body (think: all-over vulva action or buzzy stroking agent). It’s completely waterproof and comes with a remote, perfect for couples who want to kick things up a notch.

JimmyJane Ascend 3 — $80.00

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7. Lovers Anal Plug Training Set

Regardless of your experience level in the—*ahem*—posterior department, the Lovers Anal Plug Training Set has something for everyone. At $39, this trio of smooth silicone plugs is by far the best bang (sorry) for your buck when it comes to anal toys. Their wide flare bases offer comfort and safety while their flexible necks make inserting and removal a breeze.

Whether you’re an anal newbie or a seasoned pro, this set belongs in your goodie drawer (or closet, if you’re lucky).

Lovers Anal Training Set — $39.00

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8. Zalo Rose Rabbit Vibrator

No need to choose between external and internal stimulation; the Zalo Rose Rabbit Vibrator is the best of both worlds. This waterproof rabbit-style vibrator expertly targets the clitoris and G-spot at the same time. The curved shaft vibrates with deep, powerful rumbles, while the top targets the clitoris with sucking patterns.

Bonus: its rose-shaped handle and gold accents are simply gorgeous.

Zalo Rose Rabbit Vibrator — $89.00

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Indeed, while banging offers a number of wellness benefits (better sleep, immunity and heart-health boost, creativity, among others), the most notable perk of sex , as far as we’re concerned, is that it can relieve stress. And who couldn’t use a little less stress in their lives? (For the record: This perk stands even if you don’t orgasm!). Bonus: with adult toys, you have the option of playing with a partner or going solo, anytime you want (just avoid sharing sex toys and make sure you always clean your sex toys thoroughly). Add in some natural lubricants, and you’re set.

But which of the climax-inducing and calm-creating toys are best? The marketplace is crowded to cater to all kinds of preferences and pleasure seekers—whether you’re looking for vibrators or sex toys for couples—giving you both the benefit of options and also choice paralysis.

To cut through the noise, we at Well+Good wanted to share our picks for the best sex toys to spice up your nighttime fun. Whether you’re looking for something travel-sized, a vibrator for beginners, male sex toys, or more, there’s something for everyone. We hope you enjoy these options as much as we did.

The 7 best sex toys that launched

1. A smaller, more travel-friendly take on a classic toy: Magic Wand Mini

The Magic Wand Mini — $76.00

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If these were a round-up of the best sex toys of all time, the tried-and-true Magic Wand ($70) would be top of the list. But while people have been enjoying the microphone-sized vibrator since the 1960s, they’ve only been able to get down with its travel-friendly version, the Magic Wand Mini ($76), since this summer.

At just 9.5 inches long and 9.7 ounces, the Magic Wand Mini is 4 inches shorter and less than half the weight of the original massager—but not weaker. These size and weight reductions makes the Mini a better option for individuals with hand and wrist mobility or strength issues, as well as nomads or anyone in a LDR who travels frequently.

2. An innovative new way to stimulate the G-Spot: Womanizer OG

The Womanizer OG — $199.00

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Odds are that by now you’ve heard of Womanizer (no, not the Britney Spears song). The luxury pleasure product company Womanizer put air-suction toys on the map (er, in the bedroom). This year, however, the brand released the Womanizer OG ($199), which is designed to target the G-spot with air suction—technology typically only reserved for clitoral stimulation.

“The pulse-y, throb-y feeling from the Pleasure Air technology feels like cunnilingus from the inside out, like someone is sensually licking the spongy wall of your G-spot while fingering you,” wrote Well+Good’s associate commerce editor Francesca Krempa in her review of the toy earlier this year. (Uh, sold.) She noted that it’s best to use the toy externally before going straight inside because, well, foreplay.

3. An affordable clitoral stimulator: Cake Little Sucker

Cake Little Sucker — $42.00

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The Cake Little Sucker wins the “Biggest Bang For Your Buck” superlative. A fist-sized toy made from body-safe silicone, this toy is designed to please and tease your clit with suction (rather than vibration). To use it, simply lather your vulva and the mouth of the toy with a water- or oil-based lubricant, then press the “+” and “-” buttons until you figure out which of the 10 different intensity settings is best for you.

The oral-esque sensation the Little Sucker delivers is similar to what other clit-sucking vibrators and air-suction toys on the market provide. But this blue babe bests other oral stimulators with its price at just $42, while competitors can cost three or four times that.

4. A budget-friendly vibrator that does double duty: Dame Dip

Dame Dip — $49.00

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On the topic of budget-friendly sex toys, meet the Dip ($49). A beginner-friendly vibrator, Dip is pleasure product company Dame’s take on a budget-friendly vibe, costing less than half of the price of the brand’s other luxury vibrators.

The love-child of a G-spot wand and lipstick vibrator, Dip can be used both externally and vaginally. It features both a triangulated edge for more pinpointed pleasure and a rounded end that helps disperse vibration across your entire vulva. As Alexandra Fine, co-founder and CEO of Dame previously told Well+Good, “Dip’s accessibility spans both price and pleasure exploration. The toy can help all people to have fun discovering what feels good to them.” Here for it. (FYI: The Dip is currently available for pre-orders only, but Dame says orders will start to ship on January 31, 2023. Consider it an investment in your future.)

 5. A lighter dildo for easier play: Fun Factory Share Lite Dildo

Fun Factory Share Lite Double Dildo — $120.00

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Vibration and suction toys are great. But non-motorized toys deserve a little love, too. One of the best motor-free toys is the Fun Factory Share Lite ($120). This is the latest iteration of the Fun Factory Share, a double-ended dildo made from high quality silicone that has long been regarded as one of the best on the market. “The [Share] sports an ergonomically-designed bump that hooks into the wearer’s G-zone, which keeps the toy inside the wearer’s body while they thrust,” Lisa Finn, a sex educator at sex-toy emporium Babeland, once explained to Well+Good. “The bump also stimulates the wearer’s G-zone, making play potentially more pleasurable,” they said.

The Share Lite offers the exact same shape strap-on sex lovers know and love. But, it weighs in at just 11 ounces—twenty-two percent lighter than the original—making it easier for your pelvic floor muscles to hold on to while you thrust and hump.

6. An upgraded penis bumper for extra pleasure: OhNut Vibrating Ring

OhNut Vibrating Ring — $50.00

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This spongy band is more of a pleasure aid than a sex toy. Still, designed to take your sex life from ouch to O, ache to ahhh!, the latest release from Ohnut deserves a moment (or five) of fame. A type of pleasure aid known as a penis bumper, the Ohnut Vibrating Ring ($50) is designed to slide down the shaft of a penis (or phallic-shaped toy) to physically prohibit the penetrating part from going too deeply inside a vaginal or anal canal. It’s game-changing for people (like me!) who find deep penetration painful even with foreplay and lube application.

The Ohnut Vibrating Ring is a single vibrating ring, but can interlock with (non-vibrating) Ohnut Buffer Rings, so that you can limit depth as much as you need, while still getting the benefit of buzz.

7. A luxury vibrator that promises powerful orgasms: Lelo Ida Wave

Lelo Ida Wave — $151.00

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Known for creating vibrators that double as surrealist art sculptures, Lelo creates luxe products that are meant to be left on display. But the company’s latest launch of the Ida Wave ($151), a two-in-one vibrator, is one you may want to keep all to yourself.

The Ida Wave is made up of a conjoined clitoral and G-spot vibrator, which work together to hug the contours of your vulva and vaginal walls. While the clitoral stimulator affords rumbles that penetrate deep into your pelvis, the internal vibrator uses the brand’s signature Wave Motion technology to mimic the “come hither” motion of a finger over and over and over again. According to Krempa, who reviewed the product earlier this year, this toy has the power to “positively rock” your world, giving you one of “the fastest, most powerful orgasms” you’ve ever had.

Just like vibrators and anal plugs, strokers and masturbators are great in solo and partnered play, says Justin Lehmiller, PhD, a social psychologist, sex researcher, and scientific researcher for sexual wellness retailer, Lovehoney.

“Used alone, strokers can offer a novel sensation to masturbation by mimicking some of the feelings of partnered sex, which is one of the reasons people are drawn to them,” Lehmiller says. In partnered play, “strokers can be used to simulate what a threesome might be like, or perhaps when one partner isn’t into penetration but would still like to be intimate,” Lehmiller adds.

Keep reading for everything you need to know about strokers: what they are, how to use them, and the best ones to stash in your pleasure chest.

What is a stroker?

“A stroker is a device meant to enhance penis-based masturbation or partner pleasuring,” says sexologist Carol Queen, PhD, author of The Sex & Pleasure Book ($25). “Most strokers consist of a tube made of a soft material, often with texture on the inside to add to the sensation the penis receives when the stroker is moved on the penis or when the penis thrusts into it.”

Lehmiller adds that strokers, “mimic the sensations of oral sex or penetrative intercourse.” There are, of course, different kinds of strokers with all sorts of distinct features. “Some have remote controls, vibration, or temperature settings,” says Lehmiller. “‘Advanced’ strokers offer more options and sensation possibilities, but come with a higher price tag.”

So, how do you know if you’re getting a good one?

What experts recommend when shopping for strokers

Like everything else, there isn’t one, perfect sex toy for those who have a penis. “It ultimately depends on what kind of sensations they want to explore and what they find to be pleasurable,” Lehmiller says. In order to make sure you’re getting what will work for you, he advises you to consider, “what you want and what seems like the best fit for your comfort level and body.”

From there, you’ll want to opt for a reputable brand, consider your price point, and think about which features you want. “High-tech strokers, while they do involve higher cost, are more customizable. For example, you may be able to vary vibratory pulses to make it feel different each time, turn the heat on or off, and adjust stroke length and speed,” says Lehmiller.

That doesn’t mean you should totally disregard less high-tech toys, though. “Very basic toys can be great strokers—they don’t need to have bells and whistles to be good,” says Queen. If you’re getting a non-electronic stroker, Queen says to look at the material and the texturing. “Consider how easy, or not, it will be to clean—and make sure you know what kind of lube will work with it. If it’s latex, no oil. If silicone, no silicone lube,” she says.

How to use a stroker

True to its name, there’s stroking involved, be it manually or automatically. “Generally speaking, with a stroker, you insert a lubricated penis into a hole that has a soft and textured interior—and then you stroke away,” says Lehmiller. “The stroking motion and speed will depend on whether it’s a toy you control manually or whether it is motorized.” Again, you can do this as solo or partnered play.

Strokers are also a great tool to have in your sexual wellness arsenal as they might help you build sexual stamina and ejaculatory control, Lehmiller says. “With a stroker, you can practice edging—bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm and then pulling back, or maintaining a high level of arousal without orgasming.”

Speaking of climaxing, here’s what you came here for: the best strokers on the market your money can buy. Below are 12 different strokes for different folks—scroll to find something that’ll tickle your fancy.

The 12 best strokers and masturbators

Fleshlight, Ice Lady — $70.00

Ice, ice baby. Meet the Ice Lady, who’s hotter than its name suggests. It’s made out of transparent soft plastic, and it’s textured with bumps, nodules , and spirals throughout. The stroker itself is 9.75-inches long, but the insertable length is 8.5 -inches. It’s also highly rated, with one reviewer saying it changed their mind about fleshlights all together. “[I thought they were] uncomfortable and too tight but alas, I was wrong!”

Queen has pros and cons for this toy, so listen up. “It’s good for people who like the idea of seeing their penis through the material, and Fleshlight has a good reputation,” says Queen. “This will be especially appropriate for users who like to fantasize about [vulvas],” since it’s yonic (meaning shaped like a vulva). As far as her cons? “There’s no vibration or anything, but a user desiring that could try tucking a waterproof, small vibrator into the sleeve, or using a strong vibe against the outside of the sleeve,” Queen suggests.

Pros

• Transparent
• Great for people who fantasize about vulvas
• Deep

Cons

• No vibrations

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Fleshlight, Ice Butt — $70.00

The Fleshlight Ice Butt is pretty much exactly the same as the Fleshlight Ice Lady. Same materials, same total and insertable lengths (9.75 inches and 8.5 inches, respectively), but with one key difference—instead of the opening being shaped to look like a vulva, the opening is shaped like an anus. “This is good for those who eroticize anal,” says Queen.

One reviewer did note that the entrance is really tight, but quickly added, “that’s part of the fun.” Like the Ice Lady, the Ice Butt is also highly rated. On the Fleshlight website, it has 95 reviews total—each of them are five stars. On Amazon, the toy has 233 reviews and averaged 4.4 stars. A glowing review: “Best sex toy ever! Go at it for hours with this thing. It’s always at my beside. Even take it on vacations.”

Pros:

• Transparent  
• Mimics anal
• Tight

Cons:

• No vibrations

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Arcwave, Arcwave Voy — $99.00

“The Arcwave Voy is designed for penis stimulation, but is a device you control with your own hands,” says Lehmiller. “It comes at a lower price point than the strokers with high-tech features, but offers a unique advantage in being adjustable for tightness.” This allows you to customize the Voy to the exact “grip” you’d like to feel, “which is very valuable in the sense that every penis is shaped differently,” adds Lehmiller.

It’s also made of silicone, which tends to be more smooth and more durable—so long as you don’t use it with silicone-based lube. Since this toy is also water-resistant, it can be used in the shower if you don’t feel like cleaning up the mess after. Reviewers tend to like how discreet this toy is, as it’s 4.5 inches in length and 3.3 inches in width. It also comes with protector lids so nothing gets in there when it’s not supposed to.

Pros:

• Affordable  
• Adjustable tightness
• Water-resistant

Cons:

• Shallow; no deep penetration  
• No vibrations

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Doc Johnson, Mood Thrill Handheld Stroker — $22.00

Up to this point, we’ve gone through some pretty high-tech sex toys for penis-havers. As you may recall, though, Queen says that there are also reliable, simple kinds of strokers. “This is a great example of the genre, with soft material, texturing on the inside, and that’s easy to clean,” says Queen. “Plus the ‘pop beads’ look for the exterior is playful and would make it easy to grasp.”

In addition to the textured exterior, this handheld stoker also has internal textures—three different types, to be exact. These include large massage beads, thick ribbing, and small massage beads in the 4.5-inch toy. Unlike other strokers and masturbators, this baby is open-ended, so it may feel a little different. It may also be easier to clean than close-ended options.

Pros:

• Affordable  
• Diverse internal texture
• Simple design

Cons:

• No vibrations  
• Self-regulated tightness

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Tenga, Flip Zero EV — $260.00

“Tenga is a great brand, and they are really creative about their designs,” says Queen. “This one has a fairly hard shell but includes soft panels that let you get a lot of contact with the penis.” The Tenga Flip Zero EV “also has vibrating elements in the core, so you can have the pleasures of a great Tenga sleeve and vibration in [five] different modes,” Queen adds. However, the sheer number of modes, “might be more than some users want to take charge of,” Queen says, so make sure you’re not too overwhelmed by that before purchasing it.

This toy features dual vibrating cores, which live inside an elastomer sleeve that feels like rubber. The term “flip” indicates that you can open and close this toy like you would a flip phone (remember those?). This makes it easy to use and clean. What’s particularly cool about the Flip Zero is that it has pretty strong vacuum suction, which is designed to feel like fellatio.

Pros:

• Vibrates  
• East to clean
• Creative texture
• Vacuum suction

Cons:

• Expensive
• Number of modes can be overwhelming

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Tenga, Aero — $59.00

According to Queen, the great thing about this toy is that it, “lets you play with suction,” which may also feel like someone’s giving you a blow job. The toy itself features dial-operated suction control, of which there are 10 levels, and comes with a drying stand that’s meant to be a more hygienic way to dry your toy post-cleaning. This option is also waterproof, so it’s safe to bring with you into the shower.

The Tenga Aero, like the Fleshlight Ice toys, is transparent, allowing you to see yourself as you thrust. A unique feature of this toy is that it comes with an integrated penis ring, which traps blood in your penis to give you a stronger erection. It’s also nice that it has a removable sleeve because cleaning is a bit simpler, according to a review: “I own a few other brands and I’m really impressed with the variety of sensations this one provides. Highly recommended. Super easy to clean and dry.”.

Pros:

• Customizable suction
• Waterproof
• Transparent
• Built in C-ring
• Drying stand

Cons:

• No vibrations  
• Bulky design

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Myhixel, TR Male Sexual Wellness System — $230.00

Queen says that the biggest pro of the Myhixel TR Male Sexual Wellness System is that it’s, “a wellness product, which offers training for the person who wants to learn to last longer.” She also caveats that any stroker can help with this, but what sets the Myhixel apart is that it’s, “more likely to give useful info for someone who needs to be walked through it,” Queen adds. The downside is that its price point is among the highest on this list.

It’s pretty high-tech though, as evidenced by the fact that there’s a self-heating system that achieves, “a temperature similar to the body,” per the product description. Keep in mind, though, that even the manufacturer is specific that this toy should be exclusively used with water-based lubes. Considering that the toy is made of silicone, and that oil-based and silicone-based lubes erode silicone, that tracks.

Pros: 

• Training programs to last longer  
• Self-heating
• Vibrating
• App-compatible

Cons:

• Expensive
• Compatible with water-based lubes only

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Doc Johnson, OptiMALE Warming Stroker — $179.00

If the Myhixel sounds like your cup of tea but is out of your budget, you may consider the OptiMale Warming Stroker. As its name indicates, it has a warming feature—which gets to 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit in about five minutes. It’s, “also made of a soft material, plus it vibrates,” says Queen. To be exact, that soft material is body-safe silicone.

The toy is open-ended, and it doesn’t envelop the penis from a 360-degree angle. Instead, there’s a slight opening at the top of the plastic shell. There are 10 vibration features and three speed settings for this toy, which are controlled via one of the two buttons on top. The other button controls the warming features.

Pros: 

• Self-heating  
• Vibrating
• Soft texture

Cons:

• Doesn’t totally envelope the penis  
• Expensive
• Not much internal texture

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Fun Factory, Manta Vibrating Stroker — $140.00

I saw this baby in action when I visited a sexual wellness store in Las Vegas, and let me tell you: even though I don’t have a penis, I could definitely see how the Manta could be highly pleasurable. This is another vibrating stroker, which has six settings and intensities. From holding it in my hand, I can tell you it’s powerful.

You can personalize each experience using the buttons on the handheld portion of the toy. Also made of flexible silicone, one of the cooler features of the Manta is that it was designed with partnered play in mind. It can add extra sensation during a blowjob, or can be used as a handheld cock ring.

Pros:

• Vibrating  
• Powerful vibration settings
• Good for partner play

Cons:

• Small surface area  
• Expensive

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Arcwave, Arcwave Ion Pleasure Air Smart Silence Male Masturbator — $199.00

“The Arcwave Ion is a toy for penis stimulation that [uniquely offers] targeted stimulation of the frenulum, the area on the underside of the penis where the head and shaft meet,” says Lehmiller. “It delivers pulsating airwaves to this spot in a way that simulates the feeling of oral sex.” And sure, this stroker is a pit pricier than other toys, but it’s kind of the only toy in its category.

It stimulates penis-owners by using pulsating airwaves instead of traditional vibrations. Because of that technology, though, reviewers and Arcwave advise trying the toy at least five times to get fully get used to it and learn which sensations feel best on your penis. It’d be helpful to know, then, that there are three buttons on this toy. The top button controls the smart silence option, and the two below it—marked with a plus sign and minus sign—control the strength.

Pros:

• Targets the frenulum  
• Powerful air stimulation
• Innovative

Cons:

• Expensive
• Takes some getting used to

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Tenga, 3D Spiral — $46.00

Taking into account that Queen says Tenga is a great brand, it only made sense to include three different options from the manufacturer. Unlike its Flip Zero and Aero counterparts, the 3D Sculpted Pleasure Device isn’t all that high-tech. Essentially, the toy is just a white silicone sleeve that you invert before sliding into. It’s available in five different textures, like a spiral, with protruding blocks, and one called “pile,” which features stacked triangles that look like they’d offer a bit of suction. Regardless of which texture you get, expect there to be a stretchable width and length of 3.15 inches and 9.8 inches, respectively.

Users rave about how easy to clean this toy is since there’s no other component besides the reversible sleeve. “This toy made my other sleeve obsolete—just because clean up has never been easier,” said one Amazon reviewer. It really is that simple, since you just turn the toy inside out (the texture should be facing outward) and wash it with lukewarm water and mild soap. Once it’s washed, make sure that you let it dry completely before putting it back in its case.

Pros:

• Simple design  
• Affordable
• Interesting textures

Cons:

• No vibrations

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Hot Octopuss, Pulse Solo Essential Stimulator — $99.00

Made out of silicone (internally) and plastic (externally), the Pulse is 4.25-inches long and 2.5-inches wide, making it the perfect toy to bring with you on the go. If you’re concerned you won’t fit in the Pulse Solo, know that its “wings” expand considerably, which will fit a broader range of penis sizes. Don’t let the name fool you, though: Just because it’s designed for solo play doesn’t mean that you can’t use this during partnered play.

It’s also cool that it’s, “waterproof and rechargeable,” says Queen—plus, it has a sensor, “that directs the motor to compensate when pressure is put on the PulsePlate”, aka the toy is only on when there’s skin contact. The product page says this toy can be used with or without lube, but the safest bet is to always put on a little bit of water-based lube. The biggest downside here, though, is that the Pulse Solo requires three whole hours of charging for one hour of play.

Pros:

• Fits wide array of girths  
• Good for partner play
• Waterproof
• Pressure activated

Cons:

• Long charging time

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The most obvious appeal of owning vibrating jewelry is that it’s always on hand no matter where you go. “Having a vibrator that both doubles as a fashion statement and pleasure tool is incredibly convenient,” says Alicia Sinclair, founder and CEO of COTR, Inc (which owns the LeWand and B-Vibe sex toy companies) “Its small size and quick accessibility also make it easy to introduce into a sexual experience or start a conversation about sex positivity.”

There are a few other practical perks of these aesthetically-pleasing toys. For one thing, jewelry vibrators are typically made from gold, steel, titanium, and glass. These are nonporous materials, meaning bacteria cannot penetrate and harbor inside the toy—making them ideal for wearing on the body and placing on your genitalia, says Suzannah Weiss, resident sexologist for the erotic pleasure platform FrolicMe. (And they’re easy to clean with soap and water.)

These tiny toys are also ideal for direct stimulation of particular areas, as most are crafted in a slim-line shape. This provides a sexy opportunity to pack direct intensity to the nipples, clit, head of the penis, or along the body’s erogenous zones.

Weiss adds that the wearing a vibrator necklace also sends the message that you are not ashamed of existing as a sexual being and prioritizing your own pleasure. “This can inspire other people to also proudly own their sexuality!” she says. It’s also a hell of a confidence booster—like walking around knowing you’re sporting a particularly sensual lingerie set beneath your day clothes. There is an inherent exhilaration and power that comes with bearing our sexual desires without apology or shame.

Sold yet? Check out these gorgeous wearable jewelry vibrators.

The best vibrating jewelry options for maximal pleasure

1. Le Wand Necklace Vibe, $100

Le Wand Necklace Vibe — $97.00

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With the choice of gold, rose gold, silver, and black for your next elegant yet discreet piece of jewelry, the Le Wand Necklace Vibe is a strong vibrator for its slender frame. This product combines the luxury of a longline charm with the silence of a high-end, rechargeable sex toy. Standout features include the eight vibration modes, a smooth metal finish, and easy-to-charge USB functionality.

2. Crave 24k Vesper Vibrator Necklace, $150

Crave Vesper Vibrator Necklace — $149.00

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With a slightly higher price-point, the Crave 24k Vibrator Necklace is rechargeable, completely waterproof, and has the availability for custom engraving in case you want to gift it to someone you love. The lean structure is perfect for a daytime statement necklace while the four speeds and two modes are ideal for nightime (or really any time that suits you).

3. Vibes by Tatiana Clio Radiant Vibrating Ring, $300

Vibes by Tatiana Clio Radiant Vibrating Ring — $300.00

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The Clio truly makes us feel that we’re in the future. This ring vibrator combines the elegance of an understated piece of jewelry with the innovation of what feels like a mini rocket ship when switched on. With 9000 RPMS rumbling inside of its petite structure, a quick flip from ring to sex toy turns this undetectable hand jewelry into a powerhouse finger vibrator for external use on genitalia, nips, lips, and other erogenous zones. Make sure you have your exact ring size when selecting from the dark gray, silver, and glossy nickel colors at purchase—this product is handmade just for you.

4. V for Vibes Minerva Vibrating Necklace, $50

V for Vibes Minerva Vibrating Necklace — $50.00

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The Minerva Vibrating Necklace is an excellent option if looking for a cost-friendly jewelry option. With eight different vibrating patterns, this gem-stone topped vibrator holds its own on the list with its non-porous, stainless steel frame and charging capabilities. Plus, it’s incredibly light-weight when worn.

5. Gold Titanium LIX Vibrator Tongue Ring, $60

Body Candy Gold Titanium LIX Vibrator Tongue Ring — $60.00

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This jewelry vibrator isn’t fooling anyone . . . it’s exactly what it’s designed for. The Vibrator Tongue Ring is made out of stainless steel with an anodized titanium layer to create the gold finish (no, it will not turn green). The simple turn-on-turn-off capabilities might make it less splashy than the rest but the power in this small bundle is intense as the vibration can only go as far as the product—making the resulting sensation super strong! Even though it’s made for people with tongue piercings to wear, placing the barbell between two fingers immediately converts it into a bullet vibrator.

Created by a company by the same name, Ohnut is a wearable pleasure aid that allows you to customize how deep a penis, dildo, or other toy goes inside your vaginal or anal canal. Sold as a series of stretchy, stackable rings, pleasure-seekers can choose how deeply they’d like to be filled by sliding the chosen number of modular rings over the phallus-in-question. Once in place, the squishy aid acts as a physical (but non-obtrusive) buffer between the receiver and penetrator (or penetrating toy).

I’ve been using the Ohnut during receptive strap-on and penis-in-vagina intercourse to make penetrative play comfortable since it was first released to market in 2018. Truth be told, no sex toy, pleasure aid, or piece of sex advice has changed my sex life quite like this non-assuming trinket. So, when I learned that Ohnut released a vibrating toy dubbed the Ohnut Vibrating Ring ($50), I buzzed with excitement.

What are the benefits of the Ohnut Vibrating Ring?

Released to market in November, the Ohnut Vibrating Ring is a single, stackable ring outfitted with a rechargeable, thumb-sized vibrator. It can be used on its own, or seamlessly interlock with the brand’s other buffer rings, says Emily Sauer, CEO and founder of Ohnut.

“You can stack up to four soft rings—including a ring with a vibrating function, should you choose—onto a penetrating partner,” Sauer says. These rings then compress down, reducing depth by about 1.5 centimeters each, she explains.

Ohnut Vibrating Ring — $50.00

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Vibration can add a new sensation that can make it easier to experience pleasure and even orgasm both for the wearer and receiver, says Sauer. “The vibrating ring can help all partners experience all different rumble sensations,” she says. The product has seven different vibration speeds, ranging in intensities from subtle buzz (my fave) to explosive rumble, which you can easily cycle through by pressing a single, well-placed button.

More than that, vibration can also support the main goal of reducing pain during penetrative play. “Vibration can actually elongate the vagina, making it easier to accommodate a penis or a toy,” she says. “Vibration can also increase natural lubrication and blood flow, which help create slip and cushioning for penetrative sex,” she says. Can vouch!

To be clear, the Ohnut Vibrating Ring shouldn’t be used in place of store-bought lubrication. Plenty of lube should still be squirted along the shaft and entrance, should you need or want it. Thankfully, the vibrating ring is made from an FDA-approved family of polymers, which means it is body-safe and compatible with both silicone- and water-based lubrication.

The Ohnut Vibe is available in two different sizes: Classic and Wider. The two sizes are the same “height,” meaning that they reduce penetration depth by the exact same amount. What differs is the size of the hole that the penis (or toy) goes through. The classic was designed for those who wear “standard” condoms, while the wider option was made for those who wear “large” condoms or prefer a looser fit.

How is it different from a cock ring?

To the naked eye, the Ohnut Vibrating Ring may look like a cock ring. After all, it has the same banded shape as popular vibrating c-rings like the Lelo Tor 2 ($130) and the JimmyJane Deimos Vibrating Cock Ring ($125).

But to be clear, the Ohnut Vibe is not a vibrating cock ring. Cock rings, or c-rings are they are sometimes called, are designed to fit tightly over the base of a penis and restrict blood flow to ultimately help the wearer get harder and maintain an erection for a longer period of time. None of the Ohnut rings (including the vibrating one) are designed to be tight on the penis or alter its function. Instead, the Ohnut was designed to limit the depth of penetration without sacrificing sensation to either partner. (For the record: The two people I’ve used the Ohnut with have reported that the device feels like a “penis hug”).

Further, the Ohnut Vibrating Ring can link into other Ohnut Buffer Rings, in a way that other vibrating rings cannot. If you use more than one ring, you can put the vibrating ring anywhere in the stack. Through a little trial-and-error, I’ve learned I like it as the second ring. When the first ring vibrated, my clitoris got a little overestimated, which is common for me.

So…is the Ohnut Vibrating Ring for me?

If you, like me, are part of the 75 percent of vulva-owners who has ever found penetrative sex painful at times, you could be a good candidate for the Ohnut Vibrating Ring.

However, it’s important to note that if you find any kind of penetration painful—intercourse, hand sex, tampon insertion, etc. —don’t just order a sex toy and call it a day. It’s important to consult a gynecologist and/or pelvic floor therapist, suggests Corey Silbert PT, DPT, a pelvic floor therapist with Pelvic Gym, a pelvic health education platform created by Ohnut. Penetrative pain can be caused by a number of underlying conditions, says Silbert, including endometriosis, vaginismus, pelvic inflammatory disease, and sexually transmitted infections. The proper health-care provider can help diagnose the underlying cause and either treat the condition or give you told to manage it, she explains.

In fact, a visit to a pelvic floor therapist is how I learned that my penetrative pain is caused by a condition called hypertonic pelvic floor (where your pelvic muscles constantly spasm or contract). I now manage this condition with a number of at-home and in-office pelvic floor stretches, as well as pleasure aids like the Ohnut, CBD suppositories, dilators, and now, the Ohnut Vibrating Ring.

If your condition causes pain deep inside the vaginal canal, your provider may suggest the Ohnut Buffer Rings or Ohnut Vibrating Ring (among other products), says Silbert. “By controlling depth, you can keep penetration from aggravating deeper structures that are painful when touched,” she says. If the main place of your pain is at (or closer towards) the entrance of your vaginal canal, the vibrating ring is less likely to address the pain because some penetration will still be taking place.

All in all, at $50.00 for the Ohnut Vibrating Ring and $65.00 for four additional (vibrator-free) Ohnut Buffer Rings, I’d recommend anyone who finds penetration more ‘ouch’ than O give the aids a try. There’s not much to lose, and as I can vouch for, there’s a lot of pleasure and peace-of-mind to gain.